𝐦𝐲 𝐜𝐨-𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 ☾ 𝐥. 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞

𝟐𝟔. 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐦𝐞

cleo

yesterday was an emotional train wreck. probably the worst day of my whole entire life.

after our whole fight, i forgot that we still had more interviews to do. so, for the remaining interviews i did not look at him, i did not speak to him, and i did not laugh at anything he said. i plastered on a fake smile and answered questions. because in the end i'm just "doing my job", right?

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it was 6:30 am when i woke up on millie's hotel room couch. beside me were sofia and amy and i would assume that millie slept in her room.

after the interviews i just remember an awkward car ride back to the hotel, lots of crying with the girls, lots of screaming 'truth hurts' and 'picture to burn', and a trip for ice cream.

once we all woke up, we made a huge charcuterie board and watched music videos until the hair and makeup people came.

suddenly there was a knock on the door and we all assumed it was the stylists, so sofia went to get the door.

"go away" i heard her say. i immediately turned my head from the t.v. to the metal door, and there he was. louis. partridge.

"she's not answering any of my texts. is she in here?"
"she's not answering any of your texts because she doesn't want to talk to you. now go away" i heard anger in her voice.

louis's eyes shifted around the room until they stopped on me. we made eye contact until i broke it and stared at the floor. i saw the sadness and hurt in him. i just wanted to run up and hug him, but i can't. i know i can't because i need to stand my ground. i won't let myself be someone's secret.

he accepted his defeat and turned around to josh's room. sofia joined us back on the couch and gave me sad eyes.

"you okay?" she asked, sitting beside me.
"i'll be fine" i said giving her a weak smile.

after an hour passed there was another knock on the door.

"i'll get it this time, i will fucking beat this bitch up"
amy said, jumping up from the couch.
"woah amy, i've um- i didn't know you swore" millie said in astonishment. of course we heard her say stuff like "shit" when she dropped something or accidentally got hurt, but never intentional swears. kind of crazy.

she opened the door and before even seeing who it was she began her rant.
"we told you to leave so get the hell out of here before i drag you out myse-" we heard a sudden stop in her rant and we all turned our heads to the door. it was the stylists and jenn.

"oh. i- i'm sorry. i- i didn't mean. just- just come on in" she said huffing out the embarrassment. all of us laughed at the situation.

usually it's just the stylists that come in, so why did jenn come? jenn walked in and came directly towards me. i stood up and she paused in front of me.

"are you okay?" she asked, nothing else. just three simple words that could either make me a crumbling wreck or just lie to her face.
"i'm fine, what are you talking about?" i chose to lie. i can't have anyone else give me pity and sympathy.

"well, during the interview you looked kind of 'out of it'." i looked at her confused.
"are you and louis okay? because you seemed like you hated him. the first few interviews went fine, what went wrong?" i looked down, trying not to make eye contact because if i do, surely i'll cry.