ricky and nini's realizations

chapter 75

nini's pov

i get up for school friday morning officially over everything in my life right now. i just wanna lay in bed and sleep. that's really not a lot to ask. i just need a temporary break from seeing people, so i can relax shutting off my brain for a bit. but of course, i am currently getting ready for school. my mind feels pretty blank and shut off after feeling so emotionally run down for so many days in a row. my consuming thoughts haven't been forgotten, but they're definitely not on my mind today. if i don't think about him, then i can get through my school day and come back home to bed. easy. i get dressed in some grey sweatpants, a black long sleeve turtleneck slightly cropped enough to show my waistline, and some white sneakers. i felt cute despite the whole point being comfy. it's friday, i keep reminding myself as i'm putting on my coat about to leave and start my day at school. just one day and i can have the weekend for a break from everything. as soon as i get to school i go to my first hour class distracting myself with school work to pass the time. government comes around and i dread it more than any other of the past days. i've had a perfect record of getting through that class without looking at him, but as soon as i think about seeing him in there flashes of last night after the game come to mind. i pick at the bracelet i'm wearing while walking to government during passing time driven by my nerves. i seriously think i'll break if i see his face. i miss him so much. the hurt is still fresh from the sole reason we're even in this situation with each other, but what hurts the most is not being with him. i just want my friend. my best friend. i've never gone this long without him since kindergarten. i'm tired of this whole avoiding thing, but it's my only option that i see fit. i sit down in my seat just waiting for the class to fill up. ricky's always one of the last ones in here, so i have a couple short minutes of relaxation before i need to tense up forcing my eyes from drifting to his direction. i've kept it up for this long. there's no reason why i can do it again today. the bell rings and our teacher enters the room clapping his hands together then rubbing fast in an excited kind of way, "alright class! it's project week!" everyone groans and he sarcastically responds, "i can just sense the excitement already." it was actually pretty funny when he said that, but no one else thought so. i snickered a bit and could see ricky turn his head to look at me through my peripheral vision when i did so. did he smile at me? we probably would've laughed together if things were different right now. i mentally shake my head to end my thoughts directing my attention back to my teacher speaking. "so we're going to be working in pairs to make a poster board about any of the positions in the US government. you can do federal or central government positions. you'll get to pick which one, but nobody can do the same one. i'm going to be nice and not make you guys present these," you can hear sighs of relief and one guy go "oh thank you." he keeps talking, "however that does mean that i will be grading you harder than usual on a number of things which are all on your scoring rubric i will hand out in a minute. because of this, outside class time will be necessary for you to make the projects as good as i want them to be." a project is okay with me. it means no essay writing for his class over the weekend. "i don't wanna hold up any more class time because i want you guys to get started right away. with that said, i will be picking your partners," he cocks his head to the side, "well kind of." i can see the students in front of me visibly cringe since we can't choose who to work with. "your partner has to be someone sitting directly next to you whether it be your left or right. you can work this out among yourselves. if there are issues then i will specifically assign partners. get to work!" the girl next to me already starts chatting with the girl next to her and on the other side of me is obviously greyson. "so nins, what do you want our topic to be?" greyson asks sliding his arm across the desk that's holding up his head coming closer to me. i look up at his voice accidentally meeting ricky's eyes that are boring into me with a clenched jaw, but sadness written all over him as he's slumped back in his seat. my eyes shoot away from his back to greyson's. if i hadn't of switched seats with greyson, ricky would be my partner and i wonder how different that would make things. "i don't mind. it's up to you," i answer greyson trying to distract myself from the boy on the other side of him. i open up my chromebook to start looking up information while greyson gets up to grab a piece of poster board. i worry that ricky will try to talk to me while he's gone, but he never does. i dont know if i should take that as a good or bad thing right now. the class went smoothly honestly. greyson worked equally hard as me and we got a good start. everyone starts packing up their stuff a couple minutes before the bell. "so do you wanna do saturday or sunday this weekend to work on our project? actually we could do both," greyson asks me with a raise in his voice and i unfortunately know he's doing it to antagonize ricky who's silently sitting just on the other side of him. "either are fine," i state with a tight smile, "tomorrow works if you wanna do that," i tell him. "who's house do you wanna work at?" he continues, but the bell rings in time for me to answer. ricky loudly gets out of his seat leaving his chair pushed out from his abrupt standing and i watch him escape out into the hall. my eyes soften feeling terrible because i know greyson has always gotten under his skin and especially right now isn't helping. "uh, either is fine. i really don't mind what we do greyson," i give my answer while standing from my chair. i walk behind greyson to push in ricky's chair while greyson keeps talking to me, "okay cool. you can come over to my place. my parents will be at work." "actually," i quickly interject, "my house is fine. you can come over sometime in the morning until noon or something. that should be plenty of time." i don't wanna be alone in his house. i don't think he's a bad guy, but some part of me doesn't want that. my house feels like a better bet. we walk out of the classroom together, "cool, i'll be over tomorrow," he says stopping at his locker. "k see you," i say making my way to the theater. my safe place for the last almost two weeks.