Freed Wolf

50 Google Isn't Your Friend

"J-jess? Is it really you?!" He whispers in disbelief.

He doesn't even wait for my answer and throws his arms around me, laying his head on my shoulder. His body shakes as he breaks. Instantly, I wrap my arms tightly around him, kissing his head as I fight back my own tears.

"Yes kid, it's me," I whisper, squeezing him tightly.

"I'm so sorry," he chokes out between sobs.

"Shh," I coo as I start to rock him in my arms. "None of that."

We stand there for a moment, wrapped up as we both work to get our emotions in check. He tenses in my arms as his mind starts to race.

"I didn't know," he mumbles. "She said her brother was hurt and needed help."

"Ethan, it's okay," I say, pulling him back to look at me. "None of it was your fault." The poor kid has a heart of gold, only ever wants to help, and automatically takes the blame if anything goes wrong.

"But-"

"None." I cut him off, leaving no room for dispute. "Listen to me, sometimes bad things just happen to good people."

"It sucks," he spits out bitterly.

"It really does," I agree. "But that's where we come in."

He turns his golden eyes back to me with a mix of confusion and hope. "Getting the short end of the stick is child's play for us, we can handle it and move on. It's our job to soldier on and help those around us who are struggling." I pause letting my words sink in.

"Like Chris?" He asks, finally catching on.

"Like Chris," I whisper as my voice hitches. "He needs his family. With me gone, that's you."

"What if he blames me?" he whispers, dropping his gaze. I can feel the guilt and sadness rolling off of him in waves and it's like a knife to my heart.

"Oh Ethan, he doesn't blame you. He knows who's really at fault. Just talk to him, he will always make time for you," I say with a sad smile. I feel his energy shift as he accepts my words.

"I can't stay long, I just wanted to make sure you were alright and let you know I'm okay too," I say, kissing his forehead one last time. He wraps his arms around me once again, threatening to squeeze the life out of me.

"I miss you," he whispers, making me tear up. For someone so adamant against kids, he's wormed his way into my heart and I miss him more than I could imagine.

"I miss you too. Please let Chris know tomorrow that you saw me. I'm afraid I had a long day and need to sleep," I say, cupping his cheek.

He nods and I step back, unwrapping myself from him. His golden eyes shine with unshed tears as he smiles up at me. It may only have been a quick visit but it freed him of the shackles of guilt he was carrying around. With a wave of my arm, he disappears into thin air and my heart once again feels heavy.

Selena walks over and places a hand on my shoulder, sensing my sorrow. "You need to rest Jess, you're running on empty," she whispers.

I nod as fatigue washes over me. With a smile and nod she sends me back to dreamland. The void takes me to a deep, dreamless sleep.

-----

Sun streams in the window, waking me from my deep slumber. I let out a content sigh when I realize I'm alone in the bed. Lazily I stretch out, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. As I shift I feel the familiar bulk of the collar and groan. Dimitri must have slipped it back on before he left.