Left In The Dark

Chapter 6

"Well that's the end of our session Beyoncé." Gabrielle informed while putting away her notepad, bringing me back from memory lane. I felt like I was literally transported to my past. Looking around and finding myself back in her office was so strange and I had to readjust.

"Ok." I replied standing to my feet and grabbing my purse.

"Same time on Friday?"

I nodded my head and slipped my bag onto my shoulders. "Yeah, see you then."

This concluded my second session and so far it still hasn't been as bad as I expected it to be. I exited her office and was on my way home, where I planned to take a much needed nap. I was drained.
~~~~~~~~~

I had awoken to the sight of the inside of someone's hands. Laying there I was puzzled, wondering why their hands were over my eyes in the first place. The lagging feeling of waking from a cat nap got the best of me and I allowed the hands to rest there for the moment. I just stared into the person's palms—studying the lines on their hands. I took in deep breathes and oddly felt so serene. I waited to regain complete consciousness before reaching up to remove them after quite some time. As my fingertips touched their skin my heart fluttered lightly when I realized that those hands belonged to a man. The corners of my mouth turned upward. It could only be ONE man. I slid my hands up his strong arms gripping his muscles before exploring further up to wrap my arms around his neck.

"Good morning." I whispered.

"Morning Bey." He whispered back before planting a soft kiss on my lips.

Right on cue those chills he always sent running up and down my spine kicked in and I shivered from his touch. I smiled warmly letting my hands roam back down towards his wrists. I grabbed hold of them. Attempted to pull his hands from covering my eyes to look into his, but he didn't budge.

"What are you doing?" I asked through light laughter at his weird behavior.

Instead of a response I received another passion-filled kiss. I softly moaned against his lips as I kissed him back, matching his amount of passion. Keeping his hands firmly over my eyes his lips traveled down to my neck. I released his wrists allowing my hands to move towards the back of his head where I pulled him in closer to me. Tilting my head back I let out another soft moan when his warm, velvet tongue ran over that spot on my neck that causes me to melt. He knew this. Which is why he continued to kiss on suckle on that same spot with such fervor that I had to clasp my legs to contain the sudden flush of pleasure between them.

"Mmmmm...ah baaab..."

My moan trailed off when he managed to slide ONE of his hands down the front side of my body, gripping my breast on the way. He slowly massaged it. Taunting me. I bit down on my bottom lip.There was a light pulsating feeling between my thighs. He then concentrated solely on my nipple— softly pinching it. They instantly hardened and I sucked in some air.

“Sssssssss…mmmm” I moaned.

He pulled my breast from out of my night gown, exposing it to the open air and I shivered from the sudden draft. But it wasn’t long until I felt the warmth of his tongue swirling around my nipple. Moving in a slow, circular motion. I arched my back and held on to the back of his head; pressing his mouth harder against my chest. He went from flicking and licking to sucking and nibbling and that light pulsating sensation turned into torturous throbbing. My breathing became heavier as I let my body indulge in the pleasure it was receiving.

“Shawn.” I whimpered.

I reached up to pull at the hand that still remained over my eyes, but he showed no intention of letting go. I then felt his tongue travel up from my chest to my neck, sucking on my spot again. I released another moan and my panties moistened. His tongue was back on the move making its way up to my lips where he kissed me again all while still attending to my breast with his free hand. God I wanted him so bad. That hand then traveled down south into my boy shorts. I gasped throwing my head back as I felt his long fingers enter me. He stroked me. His finger were saying cumHERE.

“Oh my god!”

I gripped the sheets and moaned deeply. My legs trembled. I clenched my walls, trapping his finger and began to grind on them, following the pulsating rhythm of my walls. I listened to the sounds it made as his fingers slipped in and out of me. Soft suckling sounds. I was so wet. His lips were now back on my neck. That spot again. Then back to my lips. Using his tongue to part them he began to kiss me as deep as his fingers were inside of me. I filled his mouth with my Ooooh's, Uhhhh’s, and Ahhhhh's as he proceeded to set my body on fire. I couldn't take it anymore. It was beyond wanting him now. I needed him. Sliding my hands up to my face I tried to remove his stationed hand again. And again he refused to let go. Feelings of desire and frustration filled my body as he continued to drive me crazy.

"Mmmmm, Shawn please…" I begged through heavy PANTING. "Let me see your face." I moaned finally prying his hands open. 

There was no ONE there.
~~~~~~~~~~

Breathing heavily, I shot up in bed confused, hot and bothered as I frantically looked around the room for him. After realizing it was just a dream, I slumped down against the back board in defeat as a lone tear left my eye. God these dreams were becoming more real every day. I sighed heavily before releasing an exasperated growl. My sheets went flying across the bed as I violently ripped them off my body in the same frustration I experience whenever I dreamt about him. I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and just sat there in silence; hands over my face and a heavy heart in my chest. I was STARTING to believe that this man was haunting me. After a few deep calming breaths I glanced over at the time on my cable box. 5:54PM. I decided to head to the kitchen and make a snack, but made a B-line to the bathroom first.

The soothing feeling of the cold water trickling down from my forehead to my neck cooled that sense of heat Shawn had left me in. I splashed my face in the bathroom sink another time, lightly patting my cheeks and took a quick glance in the mirror before rinsing my mouth out. On my way into the kitchen the lingering sense of hunger stirring in my stomach intensified as I approached the refrigerator. Reaching for the handle I began to pray silently hoping that there was some left over take-out that I could easily warm up in the microwave. I pulled the door open and inspected the contents of my fridge. With my eyes roaming from the basically-empty shelves to the equal emptiness of the compactor I sighed again and closed the door. Guess that's what happens when you're too busy sketching on napkins to listen to your mother teaching you her recipes as a kid. The kitchen has always been my least favorite room in the house...well only when I was cooking in it.
I stared at my silver Kenmore fridge and a weak smile spread across my face as I thought of how good of a cook Shawn was. My smile brightened as I thought of the times he came by the house and cooked for me for no real reason. It wasn't Valentine's Day or any other day that would call for a celebration. Just because would always be his response whenever I asked. It wasn't long before my smile turned into a frown and reality yet again soaked in like it always did. Inhaling air sharply through my nostrils, drying the oncoming tears and reminded myself to stop doing that. To stop reminiscing on the past because that is exactly what he was for me now. I shook away the thought of him and opened up the freezer side of my fridge in hopes to find anything to prepare with the little cooking skills I possessed. After scanning the inside of my freezer I settled for the potato wedges that were hiding behind a tub of cookie dough ice cream. Reaching in, I pulled out the packet the wedges came in and closed the door. I placed the item on the kitchen counter before opening up my silverware draw in search of a knife. After peeling off the plastic from the block of ice that was supposed to be the wedges I stood back, folded my arms across my chest and shook my head. I tilted my head to the side as I stared intently at the mini iceberg on the counter in front of me.

"How the hell am I gonna cook this?" I asked myself tilting my head the other way.

There's got to be some way to warm this thing up. I thought to myself for a minute before grabbing the crumpled plastic I had tossed to the side. Maybe there were some instructions on how to cook it. Opening up the plastic more to a flat sheet I smiled and thanked the lord that there were some.

Directions:

Open up the packet of wedges and take out desired amount.

I glanced over at that ice sculpture again and bit my lip. "Ummm, check."

Add a quarter-sized amount of cooking oil in a frying pan.

I placed the direction down on the counter next to the wedges and opened up the upper kitchen cabinet where I kept my pots and pans. After retrieving my frying pan I placed it on the stove and grabbed the cooking oil from one of the lower cabinets. I twisted off the cap from the cooking oil bottle and poured some out. I looked at the amount I poured and frowned. A quarter size didn't look like much so I poured a little bit more. I walked back over to the counter and continued reading.

Turn stove to a medium sized flame and evenly distribute a single layer of wedges in the pan.

Cook wedges to a crispy golden brown.

I nodded my head while turning on the flame in confidence.

"I can do that." I told myself as I began to chip away at the ice around the wedges.

Ice shards began to fly as I picked at them. Step 1 was already looking harder as I dug at the ice with the tip of the knife. After 15 minutes, I was only able to rescue about 5 fries. I sighed and wiped the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand before going in for another attempt. I was so concentrated that I didn't even hear the phone ringing in the background. I threw my head back before slamming the knife down on the counter.

"Fine! 5 fries it is then." I yelled.

I scooped them up and threw them in the pan after adding a little bit more oil and turning up the flame a little bit higher hoping that it will defrost and cook faster. I ran into the living room where I heard the phone ringing for the millionth time and grabbed it from the coffee table. Looking at the caller ID I didn't recognize the number and usual I wouldn't take an unfamiliar call, but the annoying ringing combined with the loud sizzling sound of the fries cooking in the kitchen was driving me up the walls.

"HELLO?"

There was no response on the other end. I removed the phone from my ear to look at the phone's screen. The talk time was still going so I knew the call wasn't dropped.

"HELLO?" I repeated.

I was about to hang the phone up when someone finally spoke.

"Ummm hi… is this Beyoncé?" The male voice asked.

"Uhhh yeah. Yes I am. Can I ask to whom am I speaking with?" I questioned trying to match the voice with a face.

"Yeah it's Lazaro Alonso. I saw you at the Gallery the other day and bought some of YOUR paintings?" He answered trying to jog my memory.

I pursed my lips together and nodded feeling a swift rush of anger filled me, but as quick as it came the sense left and bafflement took its place. How did he even GET my number? I clearly remember not giving it to him.

"Oh yes, yes I remember.” I paused. “I don’t want to appear rude or anything but...how did you even GET my number?" I asked suppressing any tone of anger in my voice.

"Uhh YOUR friend gave it to me. Kelly." He answered.

The anger I was suppressing quickly resurfaced.

"You asked my friend for my number?" I questioned hinting my annoyance.

There was a slight pause before he came up with a response.

“Well I thought it was ok if..."

"So you're ok with obtaining personal information without a person's consent?" I interrupted with a slap of sarcasm.

"No, not at all. You're right. It's not ok to do that but it’s just...I was wondering if I could take you out to dinner sometime." He replied.

I was taken aback by his request and immediately shut the thought of going out with him down. Not even bothering to give it any real consideration. To go out with someone again seemed almost...wrong. It was out of the question.

"Are you still there?" He asked on the other line.

I shook realizing that I was still stunned by his last statement and opened my mouth to respond. I sighed silently.

"Look Mr. Alonso…”

“Please call me Al.” He interjected.

“I’d rather not.” Another pause took place. I could feel the tension forming and I bit my lip because that must have come across harshly. I quickly apologized before continuing. “Look, I don't think that would be a good idea." I confessed.

"Oh. I mean I could understand, I…” He sighed before continuing. “Look, I understand you are going through a rough point in YOUR life, you're probably still grieving but I was hoping..."

My jaw hit the floor after hearing those words left his lips that I didn’t hear the rest of the sentence. Before I could lash out my anger towards him the smell of smoke fill my nostrils. I continued to sniff around when I realized I left the stove on without supervising it. Running over to the kitchen I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw my pan was on fire. I covered my mouth and gasped, dropping the phone in the process.

"Shit!!" I yelled as I frantically looked for my fire extinguisher.

I was running around in the kitchen madly, like a chicken with its head cut off. After the panic of the situation wore off my senses fell back into place. That damn extinguisher was where I always kept it. I slapped my forehead as I went speeding towards the utility closet. I opened the closet, grabbed the extinguisher and pulled the safety pin before aiming at the flame. Pulling the trigger I released the white, foamy substance and the small fire was out. As the smoke gradually dissolved, I rested my hand over my heart to steady the rapid beating. I sighed in relief that there were no major damages. After whispering a quick thanks to God I heard a faint voice in the background. I stood there a bit confused until I recalled not hanging up the phone. I picked it up from the floor surprised that it was still in ONEpiece and held it to my ear.

"HELLO?! Are you ok?" Lazaro yelled over the phone causing me to jump a little.

"Look just do me a favor and lose my number." I coldly replied before hanging up the phone and placing it on the counter.

Walking over to the stove I shook my head at my foamed covered and burnt poor attempt at cooking. I grabbed the frying pan and placed it into the kitchen sink. Turned on the water, retrieved a spatula and proceeded to scrap off the wedges.

"This is way more than a golden crisp." I said aloud to myself. "Guess I'm eating at Kelly's tonight."

That familiar feeling of anger filled my body again.

Kelly!

I dropped the spatula in the sink turning off the water and walked over to the coat closet NEXT to my front door. I grabbed a hoodie and my sneakers and placed on the items before heading out the house with my car keys.

"Yep. I’m def gon be eatin’ at Kelly’s tonight." I replied through clenched teeth, gripping my steering wheel as I sped to her house.