Death: Who Am I (ONC 2021)

Home

*Similar to the character, except older looking
**Character: Zeru
***Photo credit: peopleimages

There is no place like home. Aisling climbed onto her bed and curled up on top. Later she would deal with her stuff and parents.

The National Army Protection people, the man, and woman, who brought her home were talking with her parents. Probably, telling them about the psychiatrist she would be seeing weekly and that they can't disclose what happened to me. Just as well she didn't want to talk about it.

The nightmares plagued her often and made it hard to fall asleep. She looked everywhere and nowhere in her room. Too afraid to close her eyes.

Her hand shook as she touched her face. There was no scare. Nothing to show what happened to her. The warm skin was the same. Two tears rolled down on the pillow.

What was she to do? How can she keep living? If death isn't a part of her life? What should she work towards? Anything she wants she could do.

Her stomach lurched. Her hand covered her mouth. Does she age normal? What will she do when people start to notice? Did she already stop ageing? How could she know?

Fear clawed in her mind. She pulled the pillow to her. Why is this happening?
Wait, my dad. My real dad. Is this because of him? Of course.

She rolled her eyes at herself. She rolled onto her back and looked up at the ceiling. It would take a while to find things in this place. That could be a bunny. She found a dip in the ceiling with what appeared like ears. She smiled.

Zeru. How many people had that name? There had to be more info about him. She would have to question mom again.

Aisling groaned and closed her eyes. Death's hollowed eyes looked back at her. She bulleted up. Her heart pound in her ears.

She stared out at her closet. Sleep. She would never be able to sleep again. Hell. This is hell.

Tears fell.

She didn't want to live like this. She won't take the pills they gave. Fuck them.

Answers. She needs to find out who her dad is.

She got out of bed and found a blanket journal. Using the internet and information she had. The collection of questions. Using the tools she learned in her writing classes she research and created a plan.

Checking her watch she saw it was five. She was in the room for two hours. It felt much longer.

Grabbing the journal she let the room to find mom. Mom and dad were in the kitchen talking. They looked up at her when she came in.

"Their gone?"

They nodded. She rubbed her hand.

"Mom, can I talk with you?"

"Yes," mom said moving to her, "let's go upstairs. To your room."

They walked back to her room. She sat on the bed as mom took the chair.

"How are you doing?"

She shrug. "I'm not sure. I know I... I know what to...to do. But I just need some time. I... I'm not sure I can talk about it. I feel empty, scared, and ...unsure. I...I. I have some questions about dad."

Mom's lips straightened. Did she blame herself for what happened? The question threw Aisling off. Was it possible? Anything's possible.

"Mom, it not your fault what I decided to do. I'm sure we will overcome this. You said he looked handsome. Can you describe him? You never told me. And...it kinda proves that I didn't go to Sudan to find him. I never knew how he looked. Please, can you tell me?"

Tears sprang in her mom's eyes. Her mouth dropped before closing.

"Oh, Aisling. I never thought." She got up and hugged her. "Oh, Aisling. I'm so sorry for thinking that. I just so afraid. I want you to be happy."

"I know mom." Aisling patted her mom's hand hoping she would let go. Mom slow removed a hand.

"Okay, I'll tell you everything you want to know. Just don't tell your dad. K?"

"Okay."

"So he was handsome. In a dark way. His hair was black. And it curled just a little. And his eyes. I've never seen eyes that blue. He had hetero..here... two different colored eyes. His right eye had a dark blue color like the sky as the sunset while the other a little blue, like the sky in the summer. It was the striking thing about him. And he was tall. Six some. A foot taller than me."

"Six seven."

"Maybe. He was big. Like a bodybuilder. He had this...he gave off this power that no one can mess with him. People moved away from him as we danced. They were scared."

"Except you."

"O, I was afraid but I don't let it show. I put on a strong face."

"Did you talk?"

"Yes, we talked about a lot of things. He asked a lot of questions so I damned he answer my questions."

Aisling opened the journal to a blanket page.

"Tell me everything you can, please. Just not what you did. I don't need to have that."

Mom laughed.

"Of course not. That's just between me and him. So what do you want to know first."

"Start with the first thing you remember."

They spend a long time in the room talking about Zeru. Aisling became much more closer to her mom than ever before. Both of them had a wonderful evening that day.

As darkness came Aisling didn't take the pills and stay up all night, but even the darkness of the night couldn't keep the nightmares away. Death lingered in her mind.