The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part One

IX: 1 September 1993

The road from Hogsmeade Station to the castle seemed impossibly long. Thestrals snorted and shook their bony heads as they pulled the carriages along.

Remus tried to remember what it looked like to be drawn behind what had once been empty air. It had been so long since he'd begun seeing the thestrals, he couldn't recall the oddity that the small brood of second years were exclaiming about as they rode up the walk. One boy was snapping photographs of the empty space. Remus wondered whether the developed film would show the empty air or if the boy would be in for a shock of seeing the thestral where there had seemed to be nothing.

The carts were exactly the same as they'd always been. He ran his hand along the paneled side door and stared at the velvet cushion he sat upon, thinking of a time when Sirius had stood on the cart singing The Loco-Motion. He could hear James's laughter in his mind and see Peter's tears of mirth like a reflection in the stars.

Remus wondered what the bloody hell he had been thinking, agreeing to come here, to Hogwarts. Dumbledore didn't understand a smidgen, did he? Dumbledore feared Sirius Black turning up to harm Remus if he stayed vulnerable at home, but here he was being hurt by that blasted dog just the same here and now. The haunting ghost of Sirius was easily worse than that gaunt faced zombie he was now. Remus would almost rather face that version than the one that kept assaulting his mind... the one which no longer existed.

The thestrals pulled the carriages through the high gates, past the stone statues and iron bars, up the sloping road to the entrance doors, which were flung open, warm amber light pouring forth from them. The arched windows of the Great Hall glowed and Remus could see candles floating through them, filling the domed room's rafters like fireflies, or like the stars themselves. Small smoke stacks far above promised warm rooms and lit fires, prepared beds and turned down blankets. He stood staring up at the high castle walls, clutching his beaten down briefcase and wearing his threadbare robes, and he felt a rush of relief flood him.

Remus was home.

"Mr. Lupin!"

He lowered his chin to look upon the entrance hall before him, surprised to hear his name called. Surprised but also overcome with emotion, too, for the twinge of a thick Scottish accent had always, always made him think of this particular Scottish accent and his heart leaped up into his throat as his gaze landed upon her.

"Professor McGonagall!"

All manners forgotten, Remus rushed as quickly as his sore knees would allow him, hurrying up the stairs and dropping his briefcase to spread wide his arms and envelope her into a hug. Tears instantly stung his eyes, and he felt like a small boy again, remembering hugging the Professor once during the aftermath of a particularly bad moon and thinking her to be his mum. She felt smaller than he recalled, but he reckoned it might be that he had in fact grown larger.

"Oh Remus my dear boy, how have you been?" Professor McGonagall asked, holding him out at arm's length to get a good look at him. "Yerra terrible skinny!" she said accusingly. "But the house elves shall see to it that you plump up while you're here. When Dumbledore told me that you'd agreed to take on the position! The excitement I felt, I canna' tell you how please I was!"

Remus smiled shyly.

"Oh if only Ned Veigler were here to see this, he would be in absolute tears." She looked close to tears herself.

Remus nodded, "I wish he were here. And Professor Urquart as well. How have you been Professor? Since --"

Professor McGonagall smiled sadly. "I've been keeping meself busy as best I can, I canna do a thing elsewise. I do miss him, such a lot." She frowned, a sad expression in her eyes, but then she focused on Remus again, and said, "And you - how are you with... with Sirius... being escaped?"

"Alright," Remus lied.

"I've scarcely been able to contain my heart meself, I should'na wonder at it if you were quite beyond my own feelings on the matter." Her voice was gentle.

Remus shook his head. "That man - that ghoul - he isn't Sirius. He isn't my Sirius, at any rate." Remus shook his head, "No, my Sirius died a long time ago. Before."

McGonagall nodded tearfully. Her lips trembled in a straight line and she drew a deep breath, waving her palm at her face to dry her eyes. Remus reached down into his briefcase and pulled out a handkerchief and held it out. Professor McGonagall took the kerchief and dabbed her eyes, "Always a gentleman."

Remus smiled weakly.

When McGonagall had pulled herself together a moment, her voice lowered. "Have you seen him yet?"

"Who, Professor?"

"Harry," she said.

Remus nodded. "I caught a glimpse of him on the train from King's Cross," he replied.

"The splitten image, don't you think?"

"Nearly identical," Remus murmured. "Always was."

"Positively remarkable, the resemblance." McGonagall said, shaking her head. "I will admit I for one did a double take when I first saw him. I half expected to see your little face, and Peter, and - and Lily..." Professor McGonagall looked quite upset.

Remus swallowed a lump from rising up in his throat.

"You sinply must come to my office for tea and biscuits so we might catch up," she said. Her voice had suddenly turned stern, as though assigning a bit of homework.

Remus nodded, "Yes, Professor." He felt his heart all knotted in his chest. "I do hope you'll pardon me. My batty knee, you remember... I must go and have a seat."

"Very well. I shall see you soon... Professor Lupin." She winked at him.

Remus nodded and walked across the room and into the Great Hall.