The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part One

XIX: 31 October, 1993

Remus Lupin watched the grindylow as it floated about in the tank, rising and falling among gently waving bits of kelp that grew up from the bottom. The water glowed a soft green color, caused by a reflection off the skin of the creature in moonlight coming in through the window. The waning gibbous moon and the glow of the grindylow was the only light in the office.

Considering it was so near a full moon night, Remus's joints were suprrisingly strong and he sat on the overstuffed chair, his eyes staring but unfocused, his arms propped up on his knees. When a knock came on the door of the office, he sat up in surprise and glanced at a clock that sat on his mantel, a golden thing that spun at the base as it ticked away the seconds.

"Busiest damned hallway in the history of Hogwarts today, I swear to bloody hell," he muttered as he got up and crossed the office, "...should all be downstairs by now, not bothering me... just let me bloody be to myself the lot of you.."

He opened the door and, to his surprise, saw no one.

"Upphem-hem."

Remus looked down. "Professor Flitwick!" he said, surprised.

"Hullo Master Lupin," Flitwick squeaked. "Nice to see you're up on your feet this evening!"

Remus nodded, feeling bad for having been cursing all the way to the door like he'd done. "Yes, I'm not feeling very ill at all, thanks. Severus made the potion to precisely the perfect specs."

Flitwick said, "Such a talented potions master Hogwarts has never had!" He paused then added, "Could do with being a bit more friendly, but I suppose you can't win them all, can you?"

"I suppose not," Remus murmured.

Flitwick spotted the glowing tank and stepped around Remus into the dark office. "I see you got a grindylow?" He said, pointing. "For your class?"

"Yes," Remus said, turning and following Flitwick. "An excellent specimen..." then, proud, he said, "Came right from Newt Scamander's collection."

Flitwick hummed, "Yes, excellent - excellent. You always were close to Mr. Scamander," he nodded, then suddenly turned on Remus. "Mr. Lupin, you have done quite enough sitting around in the dark and I won't have any more of it."

"I - huh?" Remus was thrown off by the sudden change in conversation.

Flitwick looked determined. "I noticed your seat was empty at the staff table in the Great Hall and I spoke to Professor McGonagall, who informed me you did not intend to attend the Halloween feast tonight. However, it seems quite a shame for you, who is in so much need of good nourishment, to miss such a grand -- and, might I add, delicious -- occasion as this."

Remus flushed, "Well you see, sir, I'm not feeling --"

"--not feeling very ill at all, thanks," Flitwick said, mimcking Remus's tone from earlier in the conversation. He stared pointedly up at the younger man.

"I mean to say that I --"

"Oh I know, my boy," Flitwick interrupted, "I know exactly what you mean to say and furthermore I know that you're avoiding the feast because you don't feel as though you ought to be celebrate on this day because of all you can think about is what happened twelve years ago, isn't that right?"

Remus looked away from the tiny professor, his stomach twisting.

Flitwick's voice was firm, but understanding. "You think you can't let yourself forget what happened on this day twelve years ago, is more precise."

Remus's eyes rolled upward to stare at the ceiling, trying to keep the gates of his eyes closed tight. He wanted to shout at the little old man to go away and mind his own business.

"Remus. You cannot stop living your present-tense life because of the past."

"It's only one day a year," Remus murmured, shaking his head, "One day a year to remember and honor and --"

"Oh?" Flitwick pressed. "Are you living up a right storm on the other three-hundred and sixty-four?"

Remus bit his lips.

Flitwick took Remus's hand in his, reaching up to pat the top of the younger man's hand, comfortingly. "Remus... Remus. Look at me, son."

Remus looked down at him.

"Did you know that Christmas is my very favorite holiday?"

Confused, Remus thought for a moment. "I - I suppose I never formally knew it, ut you've always put the most effort into decorating the castle..."

Flitwick nodded. "I love the baubles and fairy lights, the stars and trees, the smell of pine and spruce... packages, snow, peppermint pasties..." He smiled, paused, and then said, "Remus, have you ever noticed that Argus hates Christmas something terrible?"

"Argus? You mean Filch?"

Flitwick nodded.

"Well, Filch hates everything."

"Argus Filch loved his brother," Flitwick countered.

Remus was surprised again. "His brother?"

"Hermes Filch," Flitwick said, nodding. "He was good mates with Alastor, Minerva, Flea, Florean and I back in the day... Dated Pomona... er, Madam Sprout, that is... He was a quidditch hero for us in Ravenclaw!" he added, grinning, "The only one who could stop Flea and Min on the pitch, I swear it... He was all our hero. And not just in quidditch, but in life." His smile faultered.

Remus realized all the tenses had been past. "Oh," Remus murmured. "I - I'm sorry. What happened?"

"Killed," Flitwick said, pushing his glasses up his nose. He looked up at Remus. "And on Christmas eve day!"

Remus drew a breath. "Death eaters?" he asked.

"We called them Purists then," Flitwick answered, "But many Purists became Death Eaters once You Know Who began his rise to power." Flitwick stared at the grindylow. "Hermes was passionate for equal treatment for squibs and muggle-borns, and right out of school he joined a coalition that was seeking funding from the Ministry. They started a home for squibs that had been disowned by their families. Christmas Eve day he was at his office working on last minute preparations for a Christmas feast he was planning for the home... and... they came for him."

Remus shivered.

Flitwick paused, his eyes damp and he smiled ruefully. "My point is that we can choose to dwell on the past and end up losing - tossing away - what good things are left in our world. And really, isn't that ultimately how the enemy wins? By stamping out what good we have to hang onto?"

Remus wiped his eyes, looking away.

"So now I ask you... Won't you please come down to the Halloween feast with me and let there be a little bit of light in your life on this dark day?" Flitwick waved his palms at the dark room. "James and Lily would have wanted it that way."