The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part One

XXV: 6 December, 1993

Harry Potter was in the hospital wing for several days, regrowing his bones and recovering from the nasty fall on the pitch. Remus hadn't dared to go back up to the hospital wing, despite McGonagall's persistence that he ought to go and have a talk with Harry.

She told him so over tea and biscuits in her office.

"I think you would both benefit from knowing one another quite a lot, Mr. Lupin," she advised.

But Remus didn't go. He just couldn't bring himself to.

The moment he was around Harry he felt like he was eleven years old and trying to keep his furry little secret from his new room mates. There was an anxiety that stirred in him. One wrong move... one second of being a git... and he'd be rejected for sure. Remus Lupin so wanted Harry to approve of him...

"Very good, Neville! Your spell work is improving quite a lot, I'm very proud of you." Remus Lupin applauded as he passed by Neville Longbottom, who had doused the hinkypunk's lantern with an aquamenti spell.

Neville grinned with pleasure, despite his soaked-through robes, turning as Dean Thomas clapped his hands as Neville bowed.

"Oh and very clever, Miss. Granger!" Remus paused to watch as Hermione held up a handful of bluebell flames that were so brilliantly blue they looked like chunks of ice set aglow. "That may be the most beautiful bluebell flame I've ever set eyes upon." He looked at her with amused pride, nodding, "You really are a very clever witch!"

Hermione smiled shyly, and he saw something in her eyes that he couldn't quite place the meaning of before she said, "Thank you, Professor. You're a very good teacher." Her voice was firm confident.

"Why thank you very much," Remus said. He continued walking along the row, passing by Ron and Harry. Ron had managed to allow his hinkypunk to grab hold of his hair and Harry was fighting it off. With a flick of his wand, Remus set the hinkypunk back into the glass box from which the ghastly sprite had come.

"We're just about done here, so please remember your four paragraphs on why - or why not - your strategy to defend against the hinkypunk today worked." He glanced meaningfully at Ron, who flushed, and said, "And have a good weekend, the lot of you..."

The bell rang and everyone was set to gathering their things, hurrying out the door. 

Remus felt his palms go to a cold sweat. "Um... wait a moment, Harry." The boy had been about to go out the door. "I'd like a word."

Hermione looked concerned but Ron said, "See you at lunch, Harry," and dragged her off as Harry doubled back into the room.

Remus nervously started focusing on anything but Harry.

God, why was this so hard? It should be the easiest thing in the world!

Harry stood there, watching as Remus covered the hinkypunk's box, his mouth pressed into a line, as though holding back the urge to ask what Remus wanted... Surely the boy was eager to go and eat with his friends. Talking to some old ragamuffin professor had to be lowest on his totem pole of desires...

"I... heard... about the match," Remus said. He hadn't told anyone he had actually been there in the stands. If he told, he would have felt obligated to tell about Sirius Black being there and Remus couldn't - he just couldn't.

Remus's finger moved over the engraving on his briefcase handle.

Professor R. J. Lupin.

Give me strength, James.

James - no, Harry - wore an expression of uncertainty.

"I'm very sorry about your broomstick. Is there any hope of fixing it?" He stacked books to keep his nervous hands busy.