The Marauders - Order of the Phoenix - Part One

Breaking Wind

James, Lily, and Sirius were seated at the table in the kitchen of the flat, laughing as they ate. It was early evening yet and Remus was not home from his day at Uni, but they'd made him a plate that was keeping warm for when he arrived. Sirius was sharing his experience degnoming with Bilius Weasley and the whole story was such a laugh that Lily's belly ached from giggling so hard and so long.

It felt like home, Sirius thought, this cheap little flat in East London and it was a wonderful feeling. Lily and James fingers entwined about one another there on the edge of the table was nice and the promise that soon Remus would be home gave him a strong feeling of warmth and anticipation. He had been afraid, saying goodbye to Hogwarts at the end of term, that things would be terribly different in the days that followed, but this was certainly not as bad as he had half expected it to be. Sure terrible things had happened already this summer, but there were also some not so terrible things, too.

Sirius spun his wedding ring on his finger absently as he retold how Bilius had used his wand to accio a whole load of tiny furniture which he'd carried across the lawn for the squealing gnomes, and they'd stood watching the little blighters carry off itty bitty rocking chairs and sets of timble-sized drinkware. "Well ol' Bil gets all sentimental, right? Says he hates putting the gnomes out, and he goes and accios them all back up into a great big sack and disapparates off to put them in a park where they won't be bothered by degnoming agents." Sirius laughed, "Bil's one in a million."

"Well it was very kind of him," Lily said, getting up to refill her glass with pumpkin juice. She did James's too while she was at it, before sitting back down. "Nobody ever thinks of the gnomes."

"Have you ever seen a gnome? They're like rotten potatoes, Lillith, absolutely filthy." Sirius made a face and shook his head.

"Well good on Bilius for caring about the less fortunate!" Lily snuffed.

Sirius grinned, "Just doing my job, Lils." He glanced at James. "You've seen gnomes, you think they're filthy, yeah?"

"Don't drag me into this," James said, wiping his mouth with his napkin, "Nuh-uh. I know better. No matter which one of you lot I side with, the other will raise me bloody hell for the rest of eternity."

Lily petted James's shoulder, "Well if you know what's best for you, you'll remember a happy wife makes a happy life."

James smirked, "Oh is that how it is? Well Evans, I'll be sure to tuck that little nugget of truth right away in my mind."

"Better than a happy husband is breaking wind," Sirius said.

"Ugh! Boys are nasty!" Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"OH-HO, as if because you're a girl you don't fart?" Sirius demanded.

Lily started to give him a snarky retort when she was cut off -

"Evans breaks plenty of wind," James smirked.

She turned toward him and swatted him on the arm, "Stop that! I do not."

"Yes you do," James giggled mindlessly, something like he might've done in first year. For a moment, Sirius could see him as that ickle little firsty on the train again as James's face lit up with mischief and humor. Funny, Sirius thought, how we all carry around the children we once were inside of us, suppressed by adulthood, but never truly gone away, either. "You toot quite a lot in your sleep, love."

Lily looked positively mortified, "Well I never!" she flustered.

"It's alright, Lilith, even the Queen has to let out a few farts every now and then."

James choked on a mouthful of pumpkin juice at the idea of the Queen farting. He wiped his chin quickly, having dribbled barely-contained juice down it, and wheezed, his eyes squeezed shut as he laughed. "Wonder if the beefsteaks can smell it through the windows?"