Missed Me, Missed Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me

The Cookout

  I closed the case on my glasses and started winding my earphones around my MP3-it wasn't like I really wanted to listen to my parents talking the whole fifteen minutes over. It was kinda sweet, though. They were really stoked about the cookout-I was, too, for that matter; I'd be able to see Uncle Scott again and meet Madeline. I wondered why they hadn't done this when we moved in, but I never questioned my parents' methods-besides the pregnancy, and we know how that went down. I loved my parents, but they weren't the kinda parents to ask the dreaded "why?" to. I learned that at a young age and kept the peace.

  All throughout this morning and the way over, my head had been swimming with thoughts.

  Last night I had stayed the night at Lulu's-and, as luck would have it, Kyle was gone for the weekend; probably drug dealing. We had watched That 70's Show-even though I fought desperately for Vampire Diaries; I needed my Damon fix-and Lulu wouldn't just shut up and watch Kelso acting like an idiot and Hyde beating him up for it.

  Well, for one, I made the mistake of telling Lulu about last week when Liam and I got dumped on our asses riding-after which, of course, we found Lefroy and Reesey in the barn pasture, saddles and all-and accidentally mentioned that we talked about the old times.

  "You love him!" Lulu had exclaimed somewhere in the middle of the mentioning of Saturday.

  I had looked at her incredulously. "What're talking about, Lulu?"

  "You love Liam-and don't you dare deny it!" She'd shifted her position on her bed, sitting on her legs to give me a scolding look. "Why else wouldn't you've told me for an entire week?"

  I'd shrugged, not helping the little fit of laughter that escaped me. "You read too much into the stupidest things, you know that? I didn't tell you cause I didn't think of it till now, alright?"

  "You love him!" she had taunted in a sing-songy voice. "You love him, you love him, youlovehim, youlovehim, youlovehim!"

  I had picked up a random pillow and chucked it at her face. "Would you stop that?" I'd laughed. She had sat and stared at me dazedly, but shutting up nonetheless. "I do love Liam, okay? Just.....not like how you think I do."

  Lulu had given me this 'oh-yeah-sure-I-believe-you-not' look and grunted, "Uh-huh."

  I had looked back at her blankly. "Lulu. Really. We're best friends. Nothing else. Honest. I don't ever wanna lose him just because I think he's cute and charming."

  "So you have thought about it?"

  I had shrugged. She'd think whatever she'd want in the end. "What's there to think about? If we were anything more, I'd find some way to screw it up."

  She had reached into the bag of potato chips and pulled a folded one out. "Why d'you say that?"

  Again, I had shrugged. "It's what I do."

  Lulu'd rolled her big blue eyes dramatically. "Are you saying that from personal experience, or just from The David's experience?"

  Well, she had caught me there. I hadn't really had a relationship before David; just went on a few dates with a few guys-separately, of course. "Okay, well, just The David experience."

  "Still not talking to you?"

  I had shaken my head. "You know? I think I'd actually talk to him if he'd just....try. The second argument-"

  "That you were in the right about!" Lulu had interjected.

  "Yes, I was in the right. But ever since then, he just gave up. Hasn't called, emailed, Facebooked. Nothing."