Missed Me, Missed Me, Now You Gotta Kiss Me

This is the Part Where You Dish

  In the end, there was a guy whose job was going around with a huge dump truck collecting dead horses to incinerate them, I guess. It broke my heart to know that she was just getting tossed into a truck full of dead horses, but I made sure Liam and I were not at the house when he came and picked her up.

  That was a week ago. It still hurts to think of her as being gone, and it feels like a part of me was gone. But we were moving forward.

  I still couldn’t shake the memory of Liam crying—no, sobbing. It was the most heartbreaking thing….How many times had he just cried alone so no one could see? Girls weren’t like that. There was no shame in crying, especially in front of people. But guys didn’t have that luxury. It was like there was some unspoken code that guys never cried. It was unfair, and it pissed me off to think Liam thought that way, too.

  Something changed between us that day. I guess we weren’t officially a couple, but I couldn’t shake the protectiveness I had begun to feel for him. I felt responsible for him, like I had to make sure no one ever hurt him.

  It was so much easier, giving in to all my bottled up feelings for him. I didn’t shy away when he would sometimes unexpectedly hold my hand or smile at me in a way that I knew he wanted to kiss me.

  We hadn’t kissed since prom, and my poor lips were beginning to ache in the absence of his. I knew all I had to do was say the word before I could feel his mouth again, but I was still a bit scared, I guess. It was still a little weird.

  Lulu didn’t understand it; which was my fault, mostly. I couldn’t tell her everything anymore. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her, but it was more I kept parts just for me to selfishly cherish.

  “So, are you guys, like, dating now?” she asked me one day at school as we walked to our chemistry class.

  I blushed. “No. Not really.”

  “What does that even mean? Either you guys are dating or you aren’t.”

  “We aren’t, then. And besides, what about you and Cameron? Are you guys dating?” I was desperate to get the subject off me.

  Now it was Lulu’s turn to blush. “Yes! See? It’s not so hard to just say ‘yes’, Piper.”

  I rolled my eyes, holding the door open for her. “Get over it.”

  We took our seats, even though we were a bit early.

  “And you never told me what happened at prom,” I pointed out.

  “Neither did you,” she shot back.

  “Okay, fair enough. I’m coming back to your house after…” I stopped. At Lulu’s house there was Kyle. I just wasn’t in the mood to “break up” with him today. I flashed a brilliant grin. “Nevermind. You’re coming to my house.”

  Lulu rolled her eyes, reading exactly why I’d switched. “Fine. Whatever.”

  As our teacher came in, I felt the need to whisper, “Are you mad at me?” Lulu and I had never really been angry with eachother before.

  Lulu shook her head, pretending to be very interested in her chemistry notes. “No,” she answered in a sigh. “I’m not mad at you, Piper.”

  But I wasn’t sure that I believed her. I think she was mad because she didn’t get to tell me about the rest of Friday night. If that was the case, it would be completely silly. And yet, I could still see the logic and suddenly felt very guilty.

  “Sure you wouldn’t rather go down and jump your boyfriend instead?” Lulu commented after we got upstairs.