LUMOS - Fred Weasley

twenty-one

It had now been one week since they had moved at 12 Grimmauld Place. The Weasleys and Hermione had arrived a few days after them. Ava shared her room with Hermione and Ginny whilst Ron had a spare room until Harry arrived. At first, Sirius had given AVa her own room, but she couldn't handle being by herself. The more alone she was, the more space there was for her mind to wander. But even a crowded room, she felt lonely as ever. Ever since she had moved to Grimmauld Place, her mind had gone on autopilot, she was distant all the time, never really listening to the people around her, but always present. Her emotions were turned off, she was numb. She tried her best to not act like a total bitch, nodding a couple of times during a conversation and smiling once or twice. She thought she could fool them, but they all knew that she wasn't doing good, even though she was around all the time, they missed her, they missed Ava.

Since the house was always crowded with Order Members, she wasn't really the centre of attention, which she liked. She could easily go noticed and Voldemort's comeback was the thing on their mind. Harry would arrive at any time now, they had just learned about his trial. Dumbledore had ordered them not to write to Harry, normally this would have worried Ava, but right now she didn't really care. She didn't realize it, but she was being a shitty friend.

Once he had arrived, he had immediately started screaming at them for not writing to him. He said that they didn't care about him, that they could have at least checked on him. Ava was sitting on the bed, staring at the sheets, avoiding all gazes and tuning out, as always.

"So how come I have to stay at the Dursleys' while you three get to join in everything that's going on here?" yelled Harry. " How come you're out here having the time of your life when -"

Harry immediately stopped what he was about to say. They all turned around to stare at Ava, but she didn't seem at all fazed, it seems like she was in her own bubble, not listening to a thing they were saying.

" Is she always like that ?" he murmured to Hermione.

" Yes," she sighed. " She thinks we don't notice but she always like that."

" It's like she's a ghost. It's terrifying."

***

A few weeks had passed, and Ava hadn't talked to Harry at all. She was in her room, doodling absentmindedly on a notebook when the door opened. Harry was at the frame, peeking his head through. When she looked up and noticed it was him, she closed her notebook and stood up.

" Sorry, I'll be back," she mumbled hastily making her way out.

"No, I've had enough of your bullshit," he snapped, closing the door behind him and blocking the way. This made Ava flinch and infuriated Harry more." What, you're scared of me now ?"

" N-No, s-stop being ridiculous."

" You stop being ridiculous. I've had enough, we've all had enough."

" I didn't do anything," she said in a low voice, avoiding his eyes.

" Yes, that's the problem. Honestly, Ava, I'd rather you not be here right now, than act like you're okay and zone out."

" It's not true."

" You act like you're the only one who's hurt. You act like we're just some heartless brats."

This conversation woke Ava up, it's like she was tunning back into the real world. Like her heart was taking a new breath.

" You know what, you're a  selfish bitch. You didn't even ask me how I was. You only think about yourself." Seeing her say nothing made Harry's blood boil, he was only saying that to make her react. But some of what he said was true, even if he just thought it.

" God. It's not like he's coming back. He's dead Ava. He's fucking dead." Harry's voice was now very loud, resonating against the walls. " If he saw you like that, he would be so disappointed. Hell, he'd even be ashamed."

At his words, Ava gasped, she slapped him hard across the fade, tears wetting her cheeks.

" Oh, so now you wake up. Just when I'm talking about you, you decided to do something. Have you ever thought about me, I was in the maze, I saw him die, I was there, I fucking battled Voldemort. Do you even for one minute think about what that does to someone. No-oo, of course not, you're princess Ava, only thinks about herself and her pretty little life."

He was towering over her, now spatting those words like venom, face so close to hers he was nearly bumping into her.

" Do you know what it feels like," his voice was now breaking, tears flooding his eyes. " Do you know how it feels, knowing this is my fault? Knowing I couldn't keep the promise I made to you. Knowing I couldn't protect him."

Seeing him like that made Ava realize that she was not alone, she wasn't the only one hurting. She wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him.

" I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I've been a shitty friend. I didn't think about what I said to you, I thought you wouldn't care. But Harry, it's not your fault, it will never be. That promise was stupid, he wasn't your responsibility. The only person to blame is Voldemort, he's the only one. And we'll avenge him, Cedric, we'll avenge him."

" There's something I've been meaning to say to you Av." He gulped, pushing her away  a little so he could look at her. " When I was in the cemetery, I saw Cedric with my parents. I told you he asked me to bring his body back.  B-But he also said something about you. He wanted you to know that he loved you. But he said to not hang on. He wants you to live your life, to move on. He knows you won't forget him Avie, but he doesn't want you closing yourself. He also said something about Fred, about how you needed him, and how he would be there for you."

Ava sobbed into Harry's shoulder, not realizing the words she was hearing. He loved her, he loved her. But she couldn't disappoint him, she had to be better for him. She had to get back up on her feet. Not cry when she heard his name, but smile and reminiscence all of the things she loved about him.

" Dinner's ready, I'll let you cool down a bit before," said Harry before heading out the door.

As she sat back down on the bed and passed her hand through her hair, a loud "pop" made her jump. Fred had apparated in the corner of the room, concern written all over his face.

" Are you okay? I heard screaming and I thought you were hurt -"

" I'm sorry," she blurted.

" What? Sorry for what ?"

" For pushing you away when all you did was try to help me."

" It's okay darling. I know it's hard for you."

" But I should've thought about others, I was so zoned out for the last two months. I'm sorry."

" You have nothing to be sorry about. You lost someone you loved. It's normal."

He slowly walked up to her, opening his arms to hug her. This hug felt warm, endearing, like a protection. In his arms she felt sheltered, hidden from the world's problems. She felt safe.

" I'll always be there for you Ava Lupin," he breathed in her hair.

A/N: sorry guys this chapter is a bit boring but in the next few chapters the spice is coming.