YOU'VE GOT MY DEVOTION!

7

Z's POV:

I looked at my phone that was ringing non-stop for the past fifteen minutes. I wanted to pick it up but I wasn't ready for what I'd hear from the other side.

I paced around, running my palms over my face and wet hair, contemplating how should I speak. It's nothing huge but I just wasn't ready for everything yet. I stood before the huge, life-size mirror that stood in a corner of the room next to the huge glass windows, giving a panoramic view of the beautiful city. I picked up the comb and hairdryer to try and make a quick hairstyle. I got into my job instantly and decided to put my hair into a man-bun.

The annoying ringtone of my phone brought my attention back as I sighed defeatedly, putting the comb and hairdryer on the table next to the mirror. I looked at my phone screen and grumbled before answering.

"Hey, Jan", I tried to sound excited, knowing that she'd be fuming on the other side.

"Shut your mouth, you fuxker", she reprimanded annoyed as I rolled my eyes at her.

"Why did you call me then?", I sassed trying to lighten up the mood.

"You know that you're an a*shole, right? No. No. Wait. You're an arrogant prick", she spat angrily making me angry too.

"Shut the fuxk up. I didn't do anything for you to say that to me, bloody idioh", I retorted in frustration.

"Then explain me why Harry has booked a huge penthouse suite exclusively for you while your stubborn and egoistical a*s is still in LA. I seriously didn't expect this from you, Zayn. This is disrespectful. You could be bitter about your personal life but this isn't ethical as far as your professional life is concerned", she tried to explain which only irritated me to no end.

"I didn't do it deliberately. You know that", I tried convincing.

"I do know you. That's why I know you deliberately bruised your knuckles very badly by punching those tiles on your bathroom wall", she stated, catching me off guard. I couldn't deny her accusation since that was really the truth. "I know you didn't want to, Zayn but what you did was total foolishness. You wanted to hurt him badly but let me tell you, you succeeded in that since he was disappointed by not seeing you with us. His hurt was visible in the tears he was controlling", she said making me regret it. I didn't want to attend because I wasn't ready to see him and I had no other choice.

"I.. I-I am... Sorry, Jan. I didn't know-", I was cut off as my eyes burnt with unshed tears.

"You know what he asked when we said that you couldn't make it?", she paused making me hum for her to go ahead. "He asked if you had someone to take care of you. He was genuinely worried about you, Z. When would you even understand that hurting yourself and the other person isn't right? When would you understand that you got to talk out your problems to each other? When would you learn that someone really cares for you and loves you still?", she rambled on and on as my guilt turned into hurt and then anger.

"You can't always blame me for not speaking out, Jan. He got his tongue in his cheek. Ask him to talk to me directly. What's stopping him? Huh? He booked a penthouse suite for me, served self-made breakfast for everyone and all those shxts. Then why didn't he call me all this time? Is he waiting for the right time to call me back? Don't always blame me for shxt, Jan. I'm fed up of that. You guys don't know half of the shxt that happened between us", I broke out angrily. I'm tired of my friends always blaming me in some way. I'm tired of my sister and I's damaged relationship. I'm tired of trying to hide. I'm tired. Why wouldn't anyone understand that. The only thing I received from this fake relationship is hurt in every way. Every sense. I thought I could have a peaceful life with him. Yes, I really thought and hoped for it but no. He ruined it. My hopes, my peace, my heart everything. He didn't think twice before doing what he did. I wasn't ready to see him and I wouldn't change my mind anytime soon.