YOU'VE GOT MY DEVOTION!

15

H's POV:

"No, you tell me Harry. How do the paps arrive at the spot just ten minutes after you called that number? Do you have any valid reason to it?", Kendall shouted at me while Gemma sat still, probably disappointed with everything.

"How the hell do I know that? I just know that she won't do it. I know her", I tried reasoning but it was futile.

"Are you seriously kidding me? Don't you have the ability to see what lies before you? She's the snake but you don't want to agree. Why? What the fuxk is wrong with you?", Kendall yelled at me again, while I looked at my laptop screen where my two best friends were looking at me like a psycho.

"I don't understand what problem you guys have with her. She didn't even do anything and I can guarantee you", I spoke back calmly.

"You taking her side only ruins everything, Harry. Why do you believe her so much?", Niall questioned through the monitor.

"It's really ridiculous, Harold. You want Zayn but you're not trusting him at all. It doesn't work that way" Nick spoke disappointed.

"I don't know why you all are ganging up on her when she isn't even related in anything. Stop blaming her for everything. He did the same mistake back then and now you're all doing it. She's not the bad one here", I almost yelled at them, annoyed and angry at their unnecessary blame game.

"THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST MARRY HER? YOU CAN JUST FORGET ABOUT ZAYN AND MOVE ON WITH HER. RIGHT? MEDIA KNOWS YOU'RE DATING. PEOPLE ARE EXCITED TO SEE YOU TOGETHER. YOU WOULD HAVE A PERFECT TROPHY WIFE AND ARM CANDY FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE. LET ZAYN FIND SOMEONE WHO DESERVES HIM. SOMEONE WHO ISN'T SELFISH. SOMEONE WHO ISN'T PLAYING GAMES WITH HIM. AND SOMEONE WITHOUT A BAGGAGE", Gemma screamed shocking us all, while her last sentence stabbed me to no end.

"I don't... I don't- I don't... ummm... Want to marry... ummm... her", I stammered unable to look at her without feeling ashamed.

"I THOUGHT YOU WOULD CHANGE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD START TAKING RESPONSIBILITY. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD START ACCEPTING YOUR MISTAKES AND APOLOGIZE. YOU KNOW YOU'RE HIDING A HUGE SECRET FROM EVERYONE. YOU KNOW WHY MOM STOPPED TALKING TO YOU. YOU KNOW WHY YOU HAD TO LET HIM GO. YOU COULD HAVE SPOKEN TO HIM ABOUT YOUR DECISION. BUT YOU TRICKED HIM. YOU PLAYED HIM. MAYBE HE'D HAVE CHANGED HIS MIND. BUT NO. YOUR EGOISTICAL A*S WASN'T READY FOR IT. YOU DID IT THE WAY YOU DID EVERYTHING. INTENTIONALLY WITHOUT HIS KNOWLEDGE. NOW THAT LIFE'S GIVING YOU A SECOND CHANCE AGAIN, YOU REALLY WANT TO RUIN IT EXACTLY THE WAY YOU RUINED YOUR FIRST? BE HONEST TO YOURSELF, HARRY. THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED", she fumed in anger making me cover away from her. I couldn't talk back to her and I definitely couldn't look at her eyes. I knew what I did and I knew why I couldn't marry her. I wanted him but I'm ruining the opportunities myself.

"What does she mean, Harry?", Niall questioned breaking the silence.

"What are you hiding, Styles?", Nick reprimanded.

"Nothing. IT'S NOTHING. I DON'T HAVE TO SAY EVERYTHING TO YOU. LEAVE ME ALONE", I screamed back in rage, leaving the room and picking up my car keys on the way out. I revved up the engine and drove wherever my mind took me.

After twenty minutes of mindless driving, my car stopped in the driveway of a familiar building. I sat in my car, head leant on the steering wheel as I tried to calm myself. I thought about all those times, three years ago when I wanted to talk to him but I backed out at the last moment. I wanted it for me, for us maybe because I thought he'll finally love me. But that didn't happen. I didn't want to do it without his full knowledge but I was just desperate and in love with him that I kind of broke his trust.  I wasn't ready to go in and face them again but I had to.