The Sweetest Summer

Chapter Forty-Nine - What Other People Say

I didn't bother cleaning up the remnants of my phone, or say anything else to Collins. After a moment had passed, I just walked slowly to my bedroom and just shut the door, slumping face first onto my bed.

Whore whore whore my mind replayed every time I closed my eyes.

Have a sweet fucking life. I'd said. My weak heart tried to regret it, but my mind refused. Eli deserved that and so much more for the way he'd been treating me.

I tossed and turned for the next six hours until somewhere around seven A.M. I pulled myself out of bed and tugged my wetsuit on. Any other time in my life, the waves seemed to soothe my body and calm my mind, but as I paddled and submerged myself into the frigid water, my body numbed to the same arctic temperature as my heart. If I were being honest, it was probably still too early in the summer, still too cold to surf, but I barely noticed it.

Whore whore whore. I sliced through the waves expertly, despite it being years since I'd last surfed...since the morning Eli came back. I carved more harshly against the wave, my anger egging me on. Had I known how this would end, I would've never kissed him. I would've never lost my virginity to him. I would've never fell so miserably in love him like I did...like I still am.

Have a nice fucking life. I huffed and paddled my way back to the shore, stripping my wetsuit off my body and hanging it and my surfboard on a peg next to my hammock below the deck.

My cute white and orange tile in my renovated shower blurred together as I tried my damndest to burn my numbed skin off in the hot water.

Whore whore whore. I pulled on my black athletic leggings and oversized white Gage t-shirt, slicking my blonde hair back into a bun on the top of my head.

"Hey." Collins stood in the kitchen, blending some sort of smoothie. "You hungry?"

"Not really." I sighed and she gave me a knowing look. Since Paris I hadn't exactly been maintaining a well balanced diet. Most days I forgot to eat anything at all because of my crazy work schedule, but my shrinking bust and waist line had been my biggest casualty.

"Well that's too bad, because I already made you one." She held out some cherry pink frozen concoction and I stared at it wearily, hoping there wasn't booze in it.

"It's rumored to help forget about douche bags..."

"Well in that case..." I took a healthy swig and was pleased when strawberries tickled my tastebuds. Collins eyed me and took a sip of her own.

"I feel like I need to confess something..."

"Okay?" I took another sip, studying her guilty expression over my glass.

"I think I'm partially to blame for Eli's....reaction last night." The smoothie seemed to sour in my stomach a little.

"I posted something on my social media...purposefully...that I knew would piss him off." She fiddled with her iPhone before holding it out to me. The photo was posted to her Instagram account, which was private, but followed by a very famous Movie Star I used to date.

Collins was cheersing the camera with a champagne flute while behind her Connor and I danced, his arms around my waist while mine were around his neck. We were smiling at one another, with an undeniable chemistry. To anyone, the photo portrayed a happy couple, sharing a romantic evening together.

"I'm sorry I did it, I had a few too many drinks, and saw the post about him and that chick in Mexico City. I wanted him to see that you were sexy as hell and living your best life too..."