The Sweetest Summer

Chapter Fifteen - Lose You to Love Me Part I

My first conscious thought was being so incredibly comfortable, my second thought was the reason why. The tan arm that was draped around me from behind, the palm resting against my cheek on my pillow. Eli.

I blinked my eyes a few times, not recalling making the short trip from the movie room to Eli's bedroom last night. Not that I was complaining. The way he held me flush against his strong chest as his beautiful mouth was rhythmically breathing made me feel alive...all over.

I turned slowly in his arms, trying not to wake him. The sun filtering through his small window in the corner was still low. It was early, but the golden glow made Eli's tan body a most delicious shade of caramel. He stirred a little under my gaze and pulled me closer to his chest so his breath fanned my face. He even smelled good first thing in the morning. How was that even possible?!

"You're staring again." His voice was low and gravely and full of sleep...absolutely sinful.

"I was not." I lied, closing my eyes as he opened his.

"You're such a liar." He chuckled, but pulled me even closer to his chest until my head was resting on top of his bare smooth skin. His heart beat was so calm, and even, and soothing as mine beat wildly. In some ways it was the perfect reflection of our situation. Eli was cool, and calm, and collected, and I was frantic and desperate, on edge around him.

"You wanna go surfing?" His voice rumbled my cheek and I narrowed my eyes. No. I want to stay in this bed with you for the next 48 hours and learn some new tricks.

"I don't have my wet suit or board." I said instead, raising my face up so I could look at him. His blue eyes twinkled in the early morning glow of the room, but I found myself enamored by his full pink lips instead. A realization hit me harder than any wave ever could. He still hasn't kissed me...

"I'm sure you could wear my mom's." He yawned, stretching his muscular arms over head and nearly punched me in the side of the head in the process. The previous intimacy had evaporated, and was replaced by the most annoyingly relaxed friend vibe.

He ripped himself from the bed and swayed a little as he walked to his en-suite shower that started this whole mess. I huffed and pulled his comforter over my face, inhaling his scent and feeling the most sexually frustrated I'd felt in my entire life.

************

As much as I loved surfing with Eli, I had the feeling he had selected this particular activity for a reason. Emerged in the salty turbulent waters, we were a sort of island, each of us on our own surfboard a few feet apart. I had worn my skimpy black swimsuit from the first day, but it did little to appeal beneath his mother's rubbery black wetsuit with my blonde hair slicked back with salt water.

"I think I'm going to head in...I'm starving." I called over the sound of the seagulls, and crashing waves, and my own waining self confidence...which was the most deafening.

"Okay." Eli shrugged, as clueless to my insecurities as ever. "I can whip us up some breakfast."

"Whatever." I muttered.

I pulled my board from the water and stripped off the wet suit, not bothering to ask for his help, or look back at him. I didn't know why I felt so annoyed, but I just did. I thought after everything we'd been through these past two weeks, we were further along than this. This awkward friendly space that I had vowed not to slip back into...yet here I was.