Broken Like Me (USWNT Fanfic)

Crumbling

Warnings: Coming out, mentions of a blade, depressive thoughts, mentions of alcohol abuse. 

Mal's POV:
I look at Caitlin and hold onto her hand. I don't want to come out. I'm scared of what will happen but I know I've already been figured out. "So?" Chris asks. "I'm um dating Cait." "Okay, cool." I hear Caitlin giggle and I gently hit her. "That's it, cool!" I say laughing a bit. "Yeah. Your dating a girl, cool. Mal I just want you to be happy and I can tell that Cait makes you happy. What does it matter if she is a girl. I'm proud of you either way." I smile and engulf the striker. "Okay, I'm happy for you but I can't breathe." I laugh and go back to Cait. "Have you told anyone else?" "I told Tierna that I was gay but not that I'm dating this one." "I haven't told anyone." "Nix doesn't know?" Chris asks and Cait shakes her head. "I'm like a sister to her, I don't want her to get weirded out." "You never talked about that." I said and she looks at me. "I know, I'm happy with I just don't want to freak Nix out. I'm scared she will look at me differently I guess." "Well I will never out either of you and obviously come out at your own pace and don't feel forced or pressured to come out. However, I do suggest you tell maybe family and the team. Cause the team won't give a shit and from what I can tell from Nix she won't." My family will though, I can't tell them. They will kick me out. "Mal?" I hear my girlfriend ask. "They'll kick me out." I say quietly. "Your family?" Chris asks. I slowly nod my head and feel strong arms hug me. I start to cry and fall into the arms. "Shh babe I got you. I'm here." 

Christen's POV:
I watch as Caitlin calms Mal down. It's nice to see how much Cait cares for her. Mal calms down and holds onto Caitlin. "Why would they kick you out Mal?" "They don't believe in homosexuality. I'm scared Chris." I sigh and hug her. "When you tell them, if they do kick you out, which I'm sure they won't, you call me okay. I'll come and pick you up. Whether your in Colorado or Washington. I'll come." I feel her nod and let go of her. "Now off you two go, we have tea soon. Get changed." They say goodbye and walk back to the room. I head back to my room and see Tobin on the bed. "Toby?" I ask looking at the midfielder stare into nothingness. I slowly make my way to the bed and see the blade in her hand. "Tobin, look at me." She looks at me with tears in her eyes. "Talk to me, what's happening in that head of yours." "Chris I'm scared, I feel alone. The thoughts are back, I'm not good enough to be here. Why do you even like me?" "Toby, I like you because your funny, your smart, you help everyone no matter what and accept everyone no matter what. You mean so so much to me please, just please let me help you." "I feel like I'm losing myself, I can't handle it." "Please Tobin, give me the blade and let us help." She slowly moves her hand and gives me the blade. "Right now what is happening, what has happened?" She sighs and I take her hand in mine. 

Tobin's POV:
"I feel nothing you know. I don't really know why I'm here. I mean I like you a lot and if anything happened to you I would just break but apart from that I just. I don't have any point for living." I see Chris start to cry and it makes me feel 15x worse. I should just kill myself. "Never mind forget it Chris, it's just dumb." She shakes her head. "Tobin I'm scared, I'm worried." "Why?" "Cause I fucking love you okay. I love you so much and I wouldn't be able to cope if you did something." "I love you too Chris but I'm fine." She sighs. "No your not Tobin. You are valid to have your own emotions. You are sad don't deny it cause I know you. Your allowed to show emotion, your allowed to feel." At that point I break down. 

Christen's POV:
I hold my girlfriend as she sobs and screams. I just want her to feel better. I hold her until she calmed down. "Babe do you want to go down for tea or stay up here?" "Go down, I need a distraction." "Okay but talk to me, tell me if you start feeling upset. I'm here for you okay." She nods and I hold her hand. "Come on, we got some food to eat." She slightly giggles and we head to the cafeteria. "Oh hush Nix." Caitlin say to the teenager. "Yo, yo Chris Tobs sit with us?" "Can we?" Tobin asks. "Only if you feel comfortable." She nods her head and we sit down. "Nix you going to eat that?" Kelley asks. "I just feel kinda ill, I guess." I look at her and see Tierna whispering to her. "Hey Nix, I know it's not my place but if you eat half of that I'll do the dishes for you tonight." Tobin says and I smile at her. "Tobin I really can't eat half." "Please at least try." She sighs but started to eat some of the food. "Hey Tobs you alright?" Kelley asks. "Yeah, yeah just a bit drained that's all." "Oh okay, well I'm always here. I know I'm a bit of a burden cause I'm annoying but if you need me just shout." "Thank you Kells and your not a burden I promise. You never fail to make me laugh." She smiles and continues being her loud, funny self. "How are you feeling babe?" I whisper to her. "Yeah, yeah I'm good. It's nice being around my mates." I nod and lean my head onto her shoulder. I see Mal and Cait stand up and say that they were heading to their room. "Have fun kids!" Kelley shouts and I giggle. "I love you." I hear Tobin whisper in my ear. "I love you too. We will get through this together." She kisses my head. I will help her as much as possible.

Caitlin's POV:
We head back upstairs and I start to feel dizzy again. "Woah Cait. What's wrong?" Mal asks as I grab the wall. "Must be from the panic attack today." I said but I could tell she knew something was wrong. "Have you been drinking?" I sigh. "Kelley took the last flask. I'm trying, I'm really really trying Mal. I've been sober for 2 days now. It still hurts though." She approaches me and I'm expecting her to start yelling at me or hitting me but instead she hugs me. "Thank you for trying. I don't know how hard it is but I know your struggling. I might not be much help but I'm always here." I hug her and kiss the top of her head. "What would I do without you huh?" I ask and she giggles. I pick her up and lay her in the bed. "What movie babe?" "Despicable me!" She shouts and I put it on. I lay back in bed and cuddle her. I think I'm falling in love with this girl. 

1242 Words. 18th of February 2021. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Leave any suggestions you have to continue on this story. Thank you for all the support and I hope you have an amazing day/night.