SPACEMAN AND THE MOON ― doctor who

ten ; the idiot's lantern

(Luna's outfit in the episode)

chapter ten ; the idiots lantern

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LUNA SAT ON THE EDGE OF THE TARDIS, staring into the space around her, eyes following a supernova erupting against a star. Flashes of her sister played with her mind and her arm stung at the reminder of their last big trip.

It had been a few days, they'd all taken to laying low and spending time with each other. Rose went home for a bit, understandably wanting to spend time with her mother after everything that happened. Luna and The Doctor stayed close to one another, taking small walks on different beaches on numerous planets, and eating banana pudding in the TARDIS kitchen.

None of them felt like a big adventure after almost losing each other. Besides, the atmosphere felt strange after Mickey left. Colder, almost.

"Again?"

Luna smiled, patting the seat next to her without so much as a glance behind her. "Hey, Doc, take a seat, will ya?"

He chuckled, sitting down next to her, closer than usual, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He kissed her temple and rested his head against hers, watching the skies in front of them.

"Are you happy, Luna?"

She stilled, fiddling with her fingers in her lap. He grabbed one of her hands, holding it gently and running circles along her palm.

"I'm happy with you," she answered after a long pause. "I'm happy here. I'm happy most of the time. But...I don't sleep anymore. It's not your fault, at all, so don't blame yourself, I just...can't seem to close my eyes."

He nodded. "Time Lords don't sleep more than a few hours a week. Well, we can, we just choose not to. Waste of time, I suppose. We're happier doing things, thinking, learning."

She squeezed his hand. "I feel like once you learn to live without it, you become privy to a whole new life."

He sighed and it was quiet for a while. They stayed there, close to each other in comfortable silence as he traced figures on her palm and she nuzzled into his shoulder. Her eyes drifted shut, only for a moment, before he spoke up again. "I thought you were dead," he told her quietly, only just above a whisper.

Luna's hands shook a fraction as her mind went back to the machine, trapped inside of metal doors as her life flashed before her eyes.

"I thought I was going to."

The Doctor tightened his grip on her hand. "I'm scared to lose you," he confessed quietly. "I don't...I'm not good at talking like this but with you...it's selfish, but I don't ever want you to go."

She lifted her head, turning and staring at him and he continued staring forward. "Doctor, look at me, please," she told him. He glanced around, swallowing before turning his head and connecting her eyes with his.

"I'm human. We both know that one day...I'm gone. I think, traveling with you, and making it out of the accident with my sister and surviving my dad -- I've always felt a bit immortal. But back with Lumic and," her voice caught and tears sprung in her eyes. "I realized my own mortality. How short life truly is, how short my own could have been. And," she smiled as he reached a hand up, his thumb wiping away her tears. "I realized that I don't really have anything. No family. No friends. I don't even have a flat, I was staying at my sister's place with her roommate. I only have you."

He swallowed. "Do you want to leave, then? Start a new life, meet someone and have children and grow old?"

She shook her head, leaning into his hand, which now cupped her cheek gently. "Doctor, there's no one else I'd rather spend my life with."