Falling Like A Fool

35

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE

"Isabella! What the f*ck did you do? Are you trying to kill Matteo?" I heard a faint voice. It was somewhat like an echo, but I knew it was Maximillan.

"I'm sorry! I didnt mean to hit him so hard! I love Matteo so much and I felt so jealous!" Isabella said crying.

"Isabella, go home now, and we will take care of Matteo. Your son is waiting for you at home." It was Papai. And from the sound of his voice, I felt his worry and anxiety. I was beginning to be fully aware of my surrounding, but it felt like I was in a dreamy state, and I couldnt wake up. I couldnt move or make a sound. I started to panic, and had a hard time breathing. I wanted to scream and ask for help.

"What's happening to Matteo?" Papai asked so worried.

"I'll call the nurse." Maximillan said.

There was a commotion. I could hear different voices of people saying something about CPR, but it slowly faded as I lost my consciousness. The last thing I heard was Isabella crying.

"Matteo! I'm sorry!" Her voice was fading.

It was so dark, but I could see a figure slowly coming towards me.

"Matteo, come back to me..." I heard the whisper like an echo. "Love, pls come back to me..." the voice was soothihg to my ears. It was like a summon of longingness, hope, sadness, and love. But unlike the voice of Isabella, this whisper had a strong pull on me, making me want to follow.

"Yes, love." I uttered.

It was as if saying those words were the perfect heed to that familiar voice.

I wondered how that familiar whisper have that powerful force on me. It was as if that familiar voice could make my heart pumping again, and my blood flowing through my veins.

"Tanya..." I heard myself utter as I managed to open my eyes.

I caught a glimpse of nurses and a doctor as well as Papai, Maximillan, and Isabella. But my vision turmed dark again.

I felt afraid just like when I was a kid and I saw Papai trying to take his own life. I was so afraid because I didnt want to lose Papai. It would be just so painful just like when we lost Mae... our mama.

I wanted to cry in fear but I slowly saw the angelic face of Tatania from the dark. She was smiling and it comforted me. It gave me the feeling that everything was going to be fine. I had the urge to touch her angelic face, but she was slowly fading and it turned dark again.

"Matteo..." I heard that familiar voice again though it felt like I was in a dreamy state, ad couldnt open my eyes to see her. I dont understand why it felt like my body was so tired and needed to be in much sleep...deep sleep. But I was not afraid because I felt she was with me. Tanya was with me.

"I know you can do this, Matteo. I know you will wake up soon. I miss you." Tanya's voice was clearer and more distinct. Her words were soothing me inside, even if I feel like I was in deep sleep, and I was in and out of semi-consciousness. A part of me was telling me that this state I was in was not real, and that I have to wake up soon. A part of me was telling me was telling me not to lose it or Tanya would get hurt. God knows I don't want what happened to Papai to happen to Tanya. I don't want to see her crying... grieving.

"No, I can't give up..." I said to myself and wanted to rise from the darkness, where I felt like I was floating. I tried to move but couldn't and I felt so frustrated... and panicked... and I lost myself in the dark again.