Falling Like A Fool

19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I watched Tanya's reaction. I knew she was not prepared for my question. I admittedly wasn't prepared for her reaction, too. What if she says yes? What if she says no?

But, as I waited for her reaction, I tried to think straight, because I do not like being caught off-guard. If she says yes, what would I do? What would I feel?

I forced myself not to be distracted by what my eyes could see. I was infront of Tanya, and her robe was hanging loosely off her shoulder, displaying her two soft heaving creamy white breasts. She was leaning on the wall, staring at me, while her left foot was on the floor of the tub, and the other foot was on top of the tub for support, as she intentionally spread her legs, with her moist pink and tight slit enticingly exposed, for the taking.

I had the need to touch her, to hold her, kiss her, be with her, be inside her, so I closed our distance between us, and hungrily kissed her lips, down to her neck, and travelled my mouth to her creamy white breasts. I gorged on them to satisfy my feeling of wanting all of her, everything about her, and owning her. I knelt down and spread her legs more to taste her moist and inserted my tongue on her slit, which made her shiver and hold on to my shoulders, digging her nails on my skin, as she bit her lip in the sensation that I knew she was feeling as I fellated her.

But I wasn't satisfied. I pushed my underwear down and rubbed my skin on hers.

"I want you Tanya," I grunted, groping her behind.

"Pls stop," she begged, and tried to stand straight.

I slowly stop but still pressed my body on her as we both panted. As her heaving chest slowed down, she avoided my eyes and composed herself. She put her foot down to stand straight. Then, she pulled her robe on her shoulders, and put her arms across her chest, while her hand covered her mouth.

I observed she didn't want to look at me and hid her face by looking down.

I, on the other hand, felt uneasy, and unsure of what to do. I just had this feeling that if I wouldn't do anything, I would regret it for the rest of my life! But I felt like my whole body got paralyzed.

"Tanya..." I stammered as I watched her wiped her cheeks.

She was about to walk out of the bathtub, when I held her arm and made her face me.

We looked at each other's eyes for a moment. I thought her cheeks were just wet with the water of the shower, but I found the water was continuously flowing from her eyes. She was crying, and I instantly knew it was because of me.

"Why are you crying?" I gently asked.

"Nothing," she replied, trying to hide her face from me, and removing my hands from her arms. She was walking backwards away from me, but I followed her until she was in the corner again inside the tub.

I wrapped her with my arms as I cornered her. "Is it because of what I asked?"

She looked at me while her tears were flowing freely from her eyes.

"You asked me if you will be the guy I will marry..." she said.

"Yes, and you didn't answer." I immediately replied. "So what's your answer?"

"Why do I have to answer that? Am I in the position to answer that? What if I said yes, would you think I'm assuming? What if I said no? Would you still want me? Would you do something to keep me? To make me stay?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Pakshet ka! Bakit ba kasi ako ang tinatanong mo?Ang gulo mo!" She said exasperated, and tried to push me.

"English pls." I held her arms tightly, not letting her go.

She tried to struggle, but I knew that it was futile. She tried with all her might to push me, but I know I was too strong for her.

"Tell me what you want, Tanya, and I will do it!" I said, to my own surprise.

"Arrgh! You're confusing me and it's frustrating me already, because I want you to want me! I want you to like me! I want more than a like! I want to have an us! And I'm such a fool for even admitting that, but you're frustrating me! I cant help but feel frustrated because I can't even hate the things you do to me! I cant stop myself from wanting you this way because I'm in love with you!" She exclaimed in distress.

The last line she said echoed to my ears, and I hugged her tight. We stayed like that for a few more seconds, before she tried to push me again.

"This is pointless, Matteo. I know you're hugging me, because you pity me." She started blubbering as I was still hugging her. "I know you're just comforting me, but I also know you don't feel the same way!" She continued to blubber.

But I wasn't listening anymore. I closed my eyes and smiled. I was just very happy--- the happiest I've ever been.

My Tatania... she wanted me to want her. She wanted me to like her. She wanted to have an us! She's in love with me.

I moved my face a little to hide it on her hair, and rested my face on her neck. I gave her a quick kiss on her earlobe which she commented about. She was saying something about me starting to seduce her again which makes it hard for her to resist because she has feelings for me, even if I don't. She continued to blubber, but I was just too high with the feeling. I don't know how to describe it, but it was the first time I felt this way. And it felt damn good!

But I noticed she was still blubbering. "So, please let me go and I will..." I heard her say.

I wanted my Tatania to stop blubbering...

"I love you Tatania, so shut up." I huskily ordered, before I locked her lips with mine.

It was the first time that I said ' I love you' to someone. And I meant it. I meant it as I meant that I love my mae- my mom.