Smell Of Daises

Chapter 1

Eyes poking me lightly while I walked across the hallways at school. Maybe my skirt was too short and they could all see my underwear or my belly wasn't flat enough anymore, oh wait I hadn't been to school for over 7 months, of course people were going to stare. "Isn't that Daisy" I heard whispers in the hallways as I passed them by. 

"Daisy! You're back! Look she's back guys for real"

I turned around and noticed my best friend in the entire world smiling at me with her freckled face. She stood with two girls, that I hadn't seen before. Who are they? Is she replacing me?

"Oh hello Audrey." I said in a quiet voice.

I turned back around and kept walking. The hallways looked the same old teal color with the light lockers that haven't been replaced since the late 80s. Oh there's my classroom with the grumpy old teacher that probably is going through a horrible divorce. I always sit in the front row, not because I want attention or maybe we all secretly do. 

Even though the teacher just went on and on about the same thing, and I almost feel asleep, it felt good to be back, to be a normal teenager again. Sometimes I think back to this summer...

My imagination led me to when we laid together in the sunkissed sea green grass. For once I didn't think about food, I only thought about him. We stayed up til dawn just hanging out, laughing, not needing to fake having fun. How could I love a stranger like that, I barely knew his name. We weren't forced to spend time together by attending the same school, we just met out of pure destiny.

I heard giggles coming from tables, I was so caught up in my head that I hadn't even noticed that it was already lunch time. The hardest time of all. Where could I sit? I wondered until the short girl with untamed windswept auburn hair waved my way. 

"Come sit here Daisy!" She shouted across the room. 

I quickly noticed that I was the only one that didn't bring any food to the table, instead i brought a glass of ice cold water. I just hoped that the others wouldn't notice, or at least not care. 

"You're so right Aubrey! She is stick and bones!" A tall blonde exclaimed

The whole table went quiet, and everyone stared directly at me. I could tell that they were all trying to come up with something to answer that would make me feel better. I was used to it though. 

"Oh uhm, I didn't mean it like that.... I mean I meant it in like a nice way like omg you're so skinny it's such a uh... perfect body shape.  The same tall blonde mumbled.

"That's just Emily, don't worry about her. She can't keep her mouth shut for shit." Aubrey added to Emilys already bad apology. 

"Oh." I said with a smile on my face.

I looked up to hide from the awkward situation and I locked eyes with... It couldn't be true, no way. Was that the guy that I met this summer? The guy who has that smile that could light anyone's mood up. The guy that could talk for hours about movies, good and bad ones and what actors would play the role better than the actual actor. The only guy that was ever mine. I chugged my water as he walked up to Aubrey.

"Christopher! Welcome to our school! This is Elaine, Emily and oh right Daisy! Can't forget about Daisy haha" She giggled.

He nodded and sat down in between me and Emily. I waited for him to say something to me, anything? Anything about the awesome summer we had together? Anything about the nights we spent talking on the beach? No nothing. Didn't he recognize me? 

"What's going on this weekend? Any parties?" Christopher asked.

"Well there's one thing, Jason's back to school party tonight. It's the biggest one this year! Everyone is invited!" Elaine answered.

"Everyone?" I wanted them to tell me to come so I could hang out with Christopher. Maybe if I get a moment with him alone he'll speak to me.

"Oh Daisy, I didn't know you were into parties! You can totally come, I will text you his address, yeah?"

"Yes please." I responded.

Emily, Elaine and Daisy started walking to their next class, leaving me alone with Christopher. Me and him were the only ones at the table taking AP math. We made our way to math without saying a word to each other. It's like Christopher's whole personality has changed. He used to make silly jokes about anything, he was so caring and now he's into parties? I haven't even attended my first party yet! 

I had barely had my first kiss yet, and I have never drank alcohol or smoked. Perhaps you miss out on normal teenaged activities when you spend most of your days in your room, obsessing over your body. 

Our assigned seats make it easy for me to look at Christopher without him noticing. His dark brown hair shines in the sun, it's such a bedhead but it suits him so well.  Next to him sits the one and only Maddie with her perfect sunkissed skin, curls of jet black hair. She could get anyone she wants just by glacing at them once.

Maddie has always been a beauty, ever since middle school when we first met. Don't let her good looks and soft voice foul you though, she has been horrible to me ever since I can remember. She would do anything to destroy my life. I don't know why honestly, she has everything she wants. A healthy relationship to food, loving parents, friends, boys. 

That's the type of girls that guys like, not unstable girls like me. Christopher would 100% go for her instead of me if he ever got the chance. 

I remember that day at the beach...

The only thing you could hear were the big waves, and the eagles diving for food. No gossip, no drama, no nothing. He tried to show off that he could skate on sand, it didn't end well but we laughed it off as we walked around on the field. The warm grass stroked my barefeet when we goofed around about anything and everything. The sun quickly faded away once I realized that Christopher hold hands with another girl at AP math!

I'm tired. Tired of being cold all the time. Tired of my hair falling out. Tired of stomach hurting every time I move. Tired of the aching. Tired of the constant lying. Tired of the emptiness. Tired of being hungry. I'm so tired of being hungry. But I do it all for you.