addicted - harry lewis

twenty four

It was safe to say that the month without Harry was absolutely dreadful. Most of my time was spent laying in bed and watching Youtube. Other times, I attempted to be productive by sitting outside in the sun or baking. It took so much of my energy to stay positive about the situation, being without him for so long destroyed me.

He was my blood and my breath. I needed him.

Cal and Cal were kind enough to let me keep staying with them during this time. They had zero issues with me staying, it's not like they saw me a lot of the time anyway. They also took turns in checking up on me daily which I thought was really sweet, and sometimes they would force me to play Scrabble with them. I couldn't have asked for better company.

Stephen would drop by to say hello every couple of days too. He even confirmed to me that he was officially dating Zoë, which I was over the moon about. They were a match made in heaven. I could tell from his eyes and the way he spoke about her that he was so infatuated with her.

I was also positive that Harry would love this news too.

My body and brain mimicked the sun as it rose at 7:37am. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky, which let the sun ascend without anything blocking its rays. I decided to take this as a sign of hope as it was finally the day that we were picking Harry up from the treatment center. My feet found themselves standing up from Harry's bed once I had pressured myself into getting out of bed.

Don't get me wrong, I was beyond excited to see Harry, but the month without him had sucked all life out of me. I had no energy to emote. My hands rummaged through the darkness of Harry's closet for some clothes to wear, not bothering to turn on the light. That would take too much energy.

I settled with a pair of Harry's black basketball shorts and a two-toned Sidemen hoodie that was far too large on me, pairing it with some white crew socks and my favourite white high-top Vans. After I had put on my outfit, I hesitantly dragged myself into his bathroom.

My elbows leaned against the sink as my tired eyes examined myself in the mirror. My eyebags were heavier than JJ was after his first fight with Logan. The crust around my weary eyes wanted to force them closed again. I quickly washed my face and brushed my hair before making my way downstairs. It was hard to look at myself when I was missing an important part of me.

Cal and Cal were waiting for me patiently in the kitchen, arguing about some idea they had for a Youtube video. Once their eyes landed on me, they shut their mouths and smiled at me.

"You excited?" Freezy asked with happy eyes. Lux stood on the opposite side of the counter as Freezy with a true smile smeared on his face. 

"I'm excited," I said, smiling gently at the boys. Freezy quickly grabbed the car keys that rested on the counter and began racing towards to front door.

"Last one to the car gets to hug Harry last!" he shouted, sprinting out of the door. My eyes dart towards Lux who had already begun walking fastly out the door. I didn't fight it, it was inevitable for me to be the last person to the car anyway. As quickly as I could, I walked out of the house locked the door behind me.

The journey to the treatment center felt twice as long as the first trip there a month ago. My knee wouldn't stop bouncing up and down, it was almost impossible to sit still. It was also impossible to figure out whether I was more nervous or more excited. It was hard to explain why I was feeling nervous. I suppose it was the fear of the treatment not working. The fear of the boring month without him being for nothing. The fear of seeing the boy I love shattered on the bathroom floor again. I tried my best to push my anxieties to the side, as this day was supposed to be an exciting one.