His Dark Obsession

Chapter 27: Something in the Air

Tara fidgeted her fingers as she sat on Ian's plush, living room sofa watching him pace back and forth in front of her. His movement was slow -- thoughtful, with an underlying havoc that Tara was mindful of. She didn't know what Ian was going to say and she started to regret coming to him at all. This was not what she had in mind. She wished to talk things over quickly; she was expecting herself to get angry and for Ian to be sorry. She didn't want to see him contemplate -- to think about it would certainly involve feelings, she didn't want to talk of feelings. Situation, as it stood right now, disconcerted her.
Emotions are a strange thing, Tara ruminated, they make for an obscure, confusing state of affairs. She did not want to decipher her own but as she watched Ian move, she could see an internal emotional struggle infused within him.
"Ian, maybe I should leave."
Ian looked her over in a dark, brooding manner and declared firmly, "Tara, no!"
"Well, tell me...?" She didn't know what question she was asking him, what answer she wanted to hear.
"Tara..." he paced one more time through the room, like an agitated lion, flaming and blazing.
She quietly watched him move. Even in his state of discomfort, his manner was debonair. "Ian, I think coming here was a mistake. I will take my leave now."
Tara got up and grabbed her bag but Ian's hand shot up blocking her from further movement. "Stay, Tara. Will you give me a sec? I don't know how to say what I need to say to you."
Tara decided to help him, "I think the only question that requires an answer is...were you in my room, Ian?"
"Yes!" His reply was instantaneous.
Tara continued scrupulously, "I was sleeping...I mean, half-asleep...later."
"I know, Tara." He assured her, calm as the midnight sea.
"Ok."
They were both silent then and didn't look at each other. The silence in the room was deafening, almost eerie. Tara felt compelled to move past the haunting moment. "What happened then, Ian?"
Ian sat down on a couch farthest from her and entangled his hands in thoughtfulness. "I kissed you."
Tara didn't expect the crazy rush of blood she felt inside of her. Her heart started to thump so loud that she could hear its mad beat. The blood in her veins flowed in troubled frenzy, rushing past her ears -- she heard it move. She looked up at Ian and he had his blue, intoxicating gaze fixed on her. She held it. She didn't want to move and he made no movement either. She was the first to break eye contact. "You won't add to that?", Tara inquired in a shaky voice.
He still stared at her; the intensity in his stare burnt her to the very core of her being.
"Tara, I took advantage of you."
"Did you think I wanted it...?"
"No...I knew you thought I was Jake."
"But you still..."
"But, I still."
"What now?"
"I am willing to accept whatever punishment you see fit."
Tara was at a loss for words. This man had admitted everything to her. And he realized that he had crossed a boundary with her. He wanted her to punish him for what he had done; she hadn't expected him to say that. And what she concluded in that moment was a strangely simple realization -- she didn't want to punish him. She didn't even want to be angry with him. She just didn't want to be here. The reason for that, she figured, didn't stem from hostility and that was as far as she was going to go in way of analysing what she was feeling and thinking.
"How about...we just let things be?"
His ocean for eyes were an abyss as he questioned her in distress, "Why?"
"You admitted to what you did. And you regret your actions, that's why."
"I never said that."
"Never said what?"
"That I regretted my actions."
"Ian!...I am trying to keep peace..."
"Tara, I want you to punish me. I want your anger."
"Ian...I can't...."
There was a certain shift in the air of the room. An ominous, electric charge that both of them recognized and then both of them...ignored. Tara was quick at doing that, Ian not so much. While Tara averted her eyes from him, the blue eyes focused on her and they seem to come to some definitive realization. Maybe he had seen through her nonchalant facade.
The door bell suddenly rang; Ian didn't move to open the door, Tara didn't register the sound. The bell rang again. Ian got up to go to the door. Tara exhaled a great amount of air. She felt flushed from her head right to her toes. Her breathing felt rapid, panicked. She realized maybe it was her chance to leave. Whoever had interrupted them had done so at the most opportune time. Tara stood up to walk to the door but immediately froze in her place. Tara caught but a glimpse of her (gladly, she wasn't looking at Tara when she sneaked a peek) and ducked back into the lounge. Brooke had come to pay Ian a visit.