His Dark Obsession

Chapter 31: Introspection

When Tara woke up in Ian's bed at the hour of 7 in the morning, she found Ian lying next to her, deep in sleep. The angular beams of sunlight slid into the bedroom, illuminating Ian's glistening, sun-kissed torso to her hungry view. He was beautiful to look at - the hard contours of his face and body taut even as he slept.
Tara felt satiated after last night. They had had sex twice after the first time and each time it had been incredibly thrillling for her. She felt sore between her legs and a sweet ache coursed through her entire being but she didn't mind the feeling even a little bit! Last night had been...wonderous! She hadn't ever been so thoroughly intimate with anyone before. The sex she had experienced with Jake was caring and sweet but sleeping with Ian Blaine made her love the fact that she was a woman! Sex with Ian had been hot, sexy, steamy, orgasmic! She reddened all over thinking about it -- thinking about how wildly and how often he had taken her. She had screamed his name so loud and so often; he had pleasured her in ways she wouldn't have thought possible. The man had the stamina of a bull gone wild, Tara shyly mused, and that too after paying a visit to the ER!
After finishing a lazy inspection of his bare chest, Tara scanned Ian's handsome face again. She found some of Ian's hair disheveled and spread across his forehead. Tara felt the urge to reach out and adjust the strands but she didn't, he looked so peaceful and at ease that she didn't want to do anything to disturb him. She wondered how come he had never looked this relaxed around her before. She wondered how long had he been harboring feelings for her; he had said that he liked her a little too much. And what did a little too much mean anyway? She wondered what he was going to say to her when he woke up. She realized she didn't want to discuss what had happened and how it was going to complicate things. She didn't want to have a discussion about how things stood between them now, after sex. She especially didn't want to discuss Jake, and ponder over the future of her relationship with him. She knew she was going to break up with him but she didn't know how she was going to do that without jeopardizing the relationship between Ian and Jake.
Staring at him in sleep, Tara realized that she had always found Ian an attractive man and if she were to be completely honest with herself, she had been attracted to him as well -- she had always been in denial of the feeling though. She had never thought of it a possibility that she and him could ever be a thing but when he had suddenly talked of removing himself from her life she had come to the painful realization that she couldn't imagine not seeing him; having whatever they both had with each other. With the realization that she found it hard to let him go, came another reality check; she was captivated by him, she was pulled to him. She wanted him in her life and she didn't care about putting an end to her current relationship to achieve that.
Ian Blaine had come to mean more to her than she had let herself believe. This beautiful, gorgeous man had shown, on several occasions, that he cared for her deeply and at times when Jake had failed her, Ian had emerged as her support.
But was this irresistible, undeniable attraction enough for what lay ahead?
A muddle of feelings made her feel ill at ease. She was beginning to think that she might care, care deeply for Ian Blaine.
She did feel awful for being unfaithful to Jake but their relationship had been going downhill for sometime now. She had grown to realize that Jake and her wanted different things out of life and also, that they were completely different people who didn't see eye to eye on most things.
She glanced at Ian one more time and decided to get out of bed to go straight to work. She looked for her underpants and found them lying on the floor, rumpled in a corner. And then she quickly gathered the rest of her clothing which was scattered around the room in heathen fashion.
She grabbed freshly brewed coffee courtesy of Ian's sleek coffee maker and put some jam on a toast. Before heading out, Tara set a tray of breakfast for Ian as well and added a note to the tray that said she'd call him and was heading into work.
On her way to Blossoms, Tara finally turned on her phone which she had turned off sometime yesterday afternoon. She wasn't surprised when she saw missed calls from Jake. She had lied to him when she was coming to see Ian and had told him that she was visiting her parents in Long Island. She decided to give Jake a call.
"Jake, hi!"
"Tara!! I can't believe you are calling me back after so long. Your phone's been turned off since yesterday. I got worried!"
"Jake, I told you I was going to visit my parents, you didn't have to worry!"
"You didn't say anything about staying over Tara! I thought you'd be back by evening."
"No...that didn't happen!"
"So when are you getting back?"
"I am heading into work from here and I'll be back from there at my usual time. And Jake...there's something I need to tell you."
"Yeah?"
"I will when we meet in the evening."
"Ok...I'll be waiting, Tara!"
"Good bye, Jake."
"Love you, babe!"
She didn't want to say it back to him so she hurriedly cut the call. This was going to be a lot harder than she had originally anticipated. This had been their most awkward phone conversation to date.
Tara didn't want Jake to resent her and she didn't want Ian and Jake's friendship to be affected by what had happened and what might happen in the future as a result of it. It was all so very complicated.