His Dark Obsession

Chapter 35: Toil of the Blameworthy

Tara exhaled a great deal of air as Ian removed his fingers from inside her panties. He subsequently moved to a visitor's chair and sat there, openly gawking at her.
Tara, who found his stare impossibly seductive, spoke to him softly, "Ian...stop that!"
A lazy smile spread across Ian's face, it was the kind that made Tara's heart skip a beat and then made it flutter. "Tara, you were so formal before you came and now...you are shy! I wonder what would you have done had I decided to take you right here, on your desk."
Tara couldn't meet his eyes, she found Ian too much at ease with matters pertaining to physical desire, a subject which she herself was rather demure about. She had only ever had two boyfriends during college and the relationships hadn't lasted beyond a couple of months; she hadn't dated much in highschool. Previously, her romantic life had comprised of men who were the sweet, harmless types; men who weren't driven primarily by sexual persuasions. As far as Jake was concerned, he was the kind of man who enjoyed sex excessively but it was always more about what pleased him than about what she found arousing. She hadn't ever experienced a man like Ian before, looks aside, he was one of those completely self-assured, dynamic people who could also be genuinely empathetic and caring. Sexually, he wanted her to explore her sensuality as much as he craved his own pleasure.
"Ian, about what we were talking about before..." Tara hesitantly began.
"Us?"
"Yes..." Tara felt much more at ease now to discuss her future with him, in fact, she 'wished' for him to ask her out!
"Tara, forget I said anything! Let's just focus on Jake for now. We can discuss our situation later." Ian dismissed her gently.
Tara was taken by surprise by Ian's sudden refusal to discuss them and she meekly continued, "But...I...."
Ian interposed, "Tara, Jake needs to know. I want to tell him first before he hears it from you."
"Ian, no! He needs to hear this from me first. I am the one who broke his trust. I am the one who cheated."
"Don't say it like that!"
"Let's call it what it is, Ian."
"Well, then, I am equally guilty! I betrayed my closest friend, Tara. I slept with his girlfriend. I feel awful about it. I wish I didn't feel this way...."
Tara felt hurt by the idea that Ian felt horribly about having sex with her. What did this even mean for the both of them? Did Ian want a future with her or was he regretting his actions and reconsidering his decisions?
Ian left shortly after their vexatious discussion. Tara pondered over Ian's words for quite sometime after he had gone. Tara had slept with Ian; she was slowly but surely, becoming attached to him but she wasn't sure of Ian's interest in her any more - was it just physical or did he want more? Did he want a relationship? Although she had been the one who had chosen not to discuss their future initially, Ian had followed suit and had chosen not to discuss 'them' at all, later.
Before the intimate moment between them, he had let her know that he liked her, he had 'wished' for a relationship -- which wasn't the same as having asked her out! And then, after her toe-curling orgasm, he had decided not to discuss them any further.
Tara had never been in this kind of situation before - she had already slept with the guy even before going out with him and now they were keeping things casual with sexual encounters upon sexual encounters. Tara felt ill at ease after Ian's visit.
"You promised me a lunch", was the jolly remark that brought Tara's mulling over Ian to a halt. It was Rachel reminding Tara of their plans.
"I did, didn't I?" Tara responded with guilt.
One look at Tara's face and Rachel knew something wasn't quite right, "Tara, he came to see you and he had eyes only for you! Why do you still look so downcast?"
"Rachel, he hasn't really asked me out or anything. He likes me and we have slept together but I still don't know whether he is serious about being with me...."
Rachel stroked Tara's cheek, "My sweet babe! Let's talk about it over lunch. It is way past lunch hour and you haven't had anything to eat."
Tara leaned against her friend, "You are right. I need to put something in my stomach so that my mind can think clearly!"
"Tara, everything doesn't need to be about over-analyzing other people's actions! I just want you to feed yourself because 'you' matter to me!"

Tara parallel parked her sedan close to an Indian restaurant named, "Khalis -- pure". The two women got out and made their way inside, they talked to the manager about a table for two and he asked them to wait on a sofa near the reception till their table was prepared. The place, Tara noticed, was pretty upscale with nearly every table in the restaurant occupied. Tara wondered how long it was going to take before they arranged a table for them.
The restaurant had a vibrant color pallete, symbolising the colors of East. The place had traditional Hindu art on the walls and the waiters were all dressed in eastern garbs. Tara felt like she had stepped into an exotic, enchanting world. It felt like a true escape. Few minutes later, a waiter arrived to guide them to their table. They sat on a table in a corner where there was a massive mural of two ancient lovers entangled in each other's embrace.
Rachel looked the menu over and decided to order a South Indian Thali (plate) for the both of them. The tray that arrived had an assortment of dishes which included a vegetable curry, white rice, some bread and Achaar (pickle). Tara broke the bread in two and handed one of the halves to Rachel as she remarked, "This looks delicious. Wish I had more of an appetite!"
"You will, once you take a bite. Susan ate here a couple of days ago and she found this thali absolutely scrumptious!"
"Alright, then, let's dig in!"
During their meal Tara discussed her situation with Rachel who reassured her that nothing had been settled between her and Ian yet, and Tara didn't have to reach dejecting conclusions based on her conversation with Ian not hours ago. She further encouraged Tara to talk to Jake before taking things any further with Ian, she believed Ian to be in the right about that.
When they left the restaurant after the meal, Tara felt infinitely better. Her friend had laid Tara's worst fears to rest and had given her the courage she needed to finally go and talk to Jake.

Tara got free from Blossoms in the evening after which her plan was to head straight to Jake's apartment and let him know the truth. She and Ian had decided that she would go talk to Jake first, after which Ian would also talk to him and let him know his side of things and that would be that. Beyond this, she hadn't considered much. She didn't want the unnecessary burden of dissecting something that had already gone through her mind too many a times.
Tara parked her car in the usual spot when she entered the parking lot of Jake's apartment building. Fear loomed over her like a dark cloud of consistent company. Tara felt an uneasy pressure in the pit of her stomach as she punched in the floor number to Jake's apartment.
Tara momentarily paused at the door, bracing herself and then inserted her key into the lock. To her distress, the door wasn't ajar and flew open on its own. Tara entered the apartment in hesitation.
The moment she entered, was the moment a pungent smell hit her nostrils and she realized everything was not as it seemed.