Stardust (Azriel X Reader)

Self-Doubt

(Y/N)'s POV

You barely said a word to anyone upon re-entering the town house. You just hightailed it up the stairs to find your bedroom. You slammed the door shut a little too hard and flopped face-first onto your bed. You didn't want them to see you cry.

Sniffling slightly, you got up off of your bed and made your way to the bathroom to wash your face. The last thing you needed was to get makeup all over your sheets. The water felt cool against your skin and it allowed you breathe easier.

You looked up at your reflection in the mirror. You were pale and your hair was messed up enough for people to suspect that something was up. But you didn't want them to know about your worries. You would fight to help save their realm. You cared too much about them to let them perish.

This whole adventure was something you could have never dreamed about. But as of lately, you began to wonder how time worked between this dimension and your own. Were people missing you? How much time had passed back home? Or was time at a stand still? These thoughts had been rattling around in your head for the past several days.

You were tempted to ask Rhysand about it, but you weren't sure he knew anything either. He had brought you here, yes, but the spell was of Ancient Magic and he may not have any knowledge about bringing beings from other dimensions. You also didn't want him to think that you were ungrateful to him for being dragged here. You hadn't been busy or had any plans, but you were still dragged here nonetheless. And now you didn't want to leave.

The whole situation was scary though. You didn't even know how you were supposed to surpass the High Lords and Ladies of each Court in terms of magical ability levels in order to take on Tamisra. You were getting better at controlling your powers and strengthening them, yes- but you were nowhere near their level of magic. It could take thousands of years and that was something neither they or you had. But still you had been chosen.

Could you do this? Could you actually save the characters from the book series you adored now that you found out that they do exist, but in a realm different from your own? You had managed to keep fairly calm facing all of this every single day since you arrived. You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

All those people in the Rainbow. They had turned to you. You were the symbol of hope. And if you failed... You shook your head and braced yourself against the sink. What would happen to them, their world, if I couldn't do this for them? If I couldn't stop Tamisra from destroying everything and everyone here?

You felt sick to your stomach and you had broken out into a cold sweat. What were to happen to me and my realm if I died?

You sank down onto the floor, putting your head back against the closed door. You didn't even want to consider the possibilities or outcomes. Closing your eyes, you tried focus on your breathing as a single tear slid down your cheek.

All of this thinking had made you exhausted. You decided to let your mind wander to someone you had grown to care about quite a lot since arriving to occupy yourself and soon, you slipped into sleep with open arms.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Time Skip - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You woke up what seemed like minutes later. Your legs, neck and back were hurting from the position you were still and so, with difficulty, you began to get up, stretching your muscles as you did. Turning, you glanced in your mirror to find that your assumption was right. Your hair was a bit of a mess and your eyes were still a little red and swollen. With a sigh, you washed your face with cold water and opened the bathroom door and head into your room. Out of curiosity, you glanced at the clock near your bed.