Secrets and Suspicion (Book 1)

Disappointments

"So, I've thought up a strategy for solving the Grievous' new base problem, Master," Ahsoka said as she and Anakin walked through one of the many hallways of the Jedi Temple.

"Yeah?" Anakin questioned. "What is it?"

"Ambush."

"Ambush?"

"Yes. Don't you like the idea?"

"I don't know, Snips. It won't be much of an ambush if Grievous knows we're coming. I bet he's expecting us. You know, building a new base on Florrum. It's a big deal."

Ahsoka nodded as she took in her Master's wise words.

"Anyway, aside from the Grievous issue, I have something for you to do," Anakin instructed as he led Ahsoka to the library entrance.

"What am I supposed to do?" Ahsoka asked.

"Research," Anakin simply stated,"on the newest, updated Jedi Cruiser. Study every level of the ship, inside and out. Got it?"

Ahsoka slumped in disappointment, but her eyes widened. "Wait, is this a punishment?" she called after Anakin, who was walking away.

"No," he said. "Just a little studying is good sometimes, right? Good luck, little one." He continued to walk down the hall.

Ahsoka stood at the door, confused. She wondered why he had told her to study something. He had told her to before, but that was when she studied in the Temple library on a daily basis, when she was just a young Padawan. Wait a minute...was there even a new, updated Cruiser?

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Padmé stood looking out the balcony window at her apartment, gazing at the passing speeders. It was 20:30 pm, after dinner time. She couldn't believe it. Anakin promised. He promised her that he would be home for dinner. She had eaten a solo dinner at the small table, the other chair across from her empty. As much as she loved her husband, she could get very frustrated with him sometimes. It was long after dinner now. Padmé had gotten used to doing everything alone in the house now, but she couldn't get over the fact that he promised her that he would be home for dinner that evening. Even worse, how late it was. He was hours late. She stood there, wondering what it would be like if they had a normal life together. She certainly hadn't regretted marrying Anakin, he was her hero. In some ways, she loved their totally imperfect life. She also wondered what it would be like to have kids. And not just one, multiple kids. Then she shook her head to get out of this dream of hers. It's just not reality, she thought. Just then, she heard a small knock at the front door. It was silent, cold and lonely without Anakin there. It just wasn't... home without him. She whipped her head around in excitement. She walked to the door and opened it, revealing... the delivery droid. The little droid handed her a small package. "Thank you," Padmé told the droid. She was so sure it was going to be Anakin. She slowly opened the package. It was from Naboo; she recognized the packaging. There was a small box, and opening it, a small note in it. She picked up the note and unfolded it. It read:

Dear Padmé,

This necklace is for you. Mother found it while rummaging through an old box. It was your grandmother's before she passed away. It is made of a several rare crystals. I hope you enjoy them. We wanted you to have it since you loved your grandmother so much.

Love, Father

The necklace had a trio of small crystals in it, one the deep color red, resembling love, the second, a sparkling silver for purity, and the third, gold, for hope. She distinctly remembered her grandmother wearing the special necklace years and years ago and how much she wanted Padmé to have it. It meant so much to her, and so did her grandmother. She put it on, and she didn't feel so lonely anymore. But she still missed Anakin so, so much. It was still silent, as it always was when Anakin wasn't there. It was going on 21:15 pm when Padmé heard the door unlock. She was slightly alarmed by the sound because she was beginning to think Anakin wouldn't be back until later, or even the morning. This has to be Anakin, he's unlocking the door! she thought. Anakin walked down the steps leading to the one floor of the apartment.

"Anakin."

Anakin ran his hand down the back of his head. "Look, Padmé, I'm so sorry I couldn't have dinner and make it back in time. As soon as Obi-Wan let me go, I came home as fast as I--"

"Ani, you promised me you'd be back for dinner tonight. You promised. I can't believe you let me down this time. I was really looking forward to having dinner with you. Where were you?"

"I was at the Temple. Obi-Wan needed me for something. I know I said you had my word..."

"Yes, I had your word! How can I believe you when you say that anymore? You're always late, always out on a mission, and always busy! You say that I'm more important than work but you don't act like it!"

"You are so much more important than work! I married you because I love you! Work isn't nearly more important than you! I'm really sorry that --"

"Stop! Just stop! I'm sick of the word 'sorry'. I'm sick of you being gone all of the time. I'm sick of all of this!"

"Padmé, this is life. This is being a Jedi. You have to trust me on this! I wish I was with you a lot more often, but neither of us can do that! You're a much-needed senator, I'm a much-needed Jedi. I'm sick of it too, but the Republic can't lose me."

They sat on the couch, Padmé with her head in her hands, Anakin sitting next to her. He moved closer and put his arm around her, and she moved closer, too, burying her head in his chest. After a few minutes of silence, Padmé mumbled, "Now I feel so guilty. Now I'm sorry." She sniffled.

"I forgive you. We're always going to have our ups and downs, but it'll always work out. I'm sorry about tonight." He kissed the top of her head.

Padmé lifted her head to look at him, tear stains on her cheeks.

"Maybe I'm not so tired of 'sorry'."