Last night was the first time that Joe and I slept apart due to personal issues. It doesn't matter what we are arguing about, we always sleep in the same bed so this was completely out of character for us. The whole night turned into a shit show once the kids realised that Joe was not coming home.
Both Talia and Tai threw tantrums which hurt me because I felt so unwanted by the people that I love most. I was so close to having a mental breakdown that I had to call my mother over to help me with the kids and it took us over an hour to get them down to sleep.
Once they were down, I poured my heart out to my mom and I honestly have not cried that much since I was told that I would never walk again.
My mom comforted me as much as she could but she did struggle to find the words to say because she has never experienced this situation. After a while I was able to convince her that I would be alright and I went to join my Talia in her bed.
She rejected me at first but once she felt my tears as she touched my face, she cuddled up to me for the rest of the night. It was everything I needed and more.
"How are you doing this morning?" My mom asks as I walk into the kitchen for breakast.
"Better." I mumble as I kiss my children's head. "How did you sleep?"
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"Better than you did." She responds as she slides a plate of pancakes over to me and I thank her for it before joining the kids at the breakfast table.
Once Talia notices me, she gives me a hug which makes me smile.
"What's that for?" I softly ask her as I run a hand down her hair.
"I love you, mommy." She gives my kiss a cheek before turning to Tai. "Hug mommy."
"Uh." Tai leans over to give me a hug and I let out a little laugh. "Love you mommy."
"I love you too." I smile at both of them. "I love you both so very much."
My mom pats my back as I begin to tear up and I do my very best to get myself together. My children had to see me at my worst state when I was wheelchair bound and I never want to put them through anything like that ever again.
I want them to get the best version of me, always.
"What's the plan for the day?" I ask my mom, knowing that she will be watching the kids while I work.
"I was thinking that we would go to the aquarium." She looks at the kids who perk up at the sound of it. "There's a funfair near my house so if the kids want, we can go check it out."
"Yes please." Talia looks at me with a big smile and I nod my head.
"We might pop in to see Rena and the kids." My mom looks at me and I nod my head. "If you want me to keep the tonight then shoot me a text and I'll have them facetime you before bed."
