15 Reasons Not To Die || Choi Yeonjun

23; (Part 2)

Everything just seemed so quiet. Awkward, to be specific. No one ever dare to break the silence growing in between them. y/n was leaning on the railings of the veranda while Yeonjun was just awkwardly looking upon the view in front of them, searching for the courage to speak and explain it all to her.

"You heard it all, did you?" Yeonjun spoke, afraid of making an eye contact with her so he kept on looking away, hoping that the answer to his question is a 'no'

"Y-yes" Yeonjun thought he was afraid on hearing that answer, but it does seem like he's a bit thankful that she heard it right, in that case, it wouldn't be much of a torture for him thinking how much time he could hide his feelings away from her.

Yeonjun is afraid of rejections, like maybe all of us do. We tend to look on the brighter side of everything but we cannot change the fact that we are still living with all the 'what ifs' and possible consequences. But for Yeonjun, it was now or never. When you bet, bet it all. When you have started speaking, then better finished it with a period.

"What you just heard... It's all true--" he stopped speaking mid way when y/n didn't let him finish what he's about to say, instead she changed the topic, "Earlier when you were washing the dishes. Your mom talked to me"

His eyes glued down to the girl beside him, speaking while looking at nothing in particular. "W-what did she said?"

"She said that you once dreamed of being a public servant..." Yeonjun looked away and smiled, "Yeah. Particularly, a lawyer or policeman"

"Why?" She asked, finally gazing up to Yeonjun with confusion clearly visible on her voice and face.

Yeonjun looked down at her as well, meeting an eye contact but none of them flinched, "are you asking why did it became my dream?"

"No. I was asking.. why did you give up on it?" y/n asked, with an expression showing on her face that couldn't be identified. There was a moment of hesitation he made as he couldn't help but to think of what his mother told y/n for her to know all of that, in just a short period of time.

She noticed how he felt uncomfortable with the question she threw, although she was dying in curiosity to know the reason why he easily gives up on everything even his dreams, at the same time she doesn't want to push pressure on him to answer the question she asked. So finally, she flashed a smile and said , "It's fine. Just don't answer--"

"Maybe because I was for sure back then that I just want to stop living and die... maybe that's the reason why I suddenly gave up with the dreams I once had before" Yeonjun answered, cutting what y/n was about to say.

y/n only nodded as she mumbled weakly, "your dreams... you should be supposed to achieve them, not give up on them"

Yeonjun was unexpectedly carrying a smile on his face that made y/n confused. More likely, she was expecting that he will be defending his own point or probably just all be silent just like what he always does before. But no, he easily cope up with what y/n said, processed it in a short period of time and managed to answer back, "You're right. But I have a different dream now, a new one"

"What is it then?" she asked.

She felt her grip on the railings started to tighten when Yeonjun shifted his eyes straight into her eyes, there's something brewing inside her stomach and in her chest that she couldn't explain either. An unsettling feeling that made her gulped.

"You, y/n.. you're my dream" Yeonjun uttered, without any hesitation. Without any thinking if he will be rejected or not. He's just acting according to his heart's will.