Broken No More: Luxsoka

Chapter 4: Just like Carlac? No, not just like Carlac.

Lux Bonteri:
Why'd I just say that. I can't miss her or care for her. She's a Jedi. Plus she's the reason Steela's gone... No she's not. That droid is the reason she died. And the reason Ahsoka will forever be left with that scar on her shoulder.

"Ugh you're still as loud as ever." Ahsoka says under her breath.

"I never did quite learn how to walk as silently as you." I says staring at the large pale scar on Ahsoka's left shoulder.

Ahsoka chuckles.

She has the prettiest laugh.

"To be fair, I am lighter than you."

A tightness in my stomach grows as I realize how much Ahsoka has change physically. Her arms are thinner with no trace of the muscles she had, her legs the same. The indents of her ribs are visible and I get this feeling as if I failed her.

"I agree, especially now. May I ask when's the last time you ate a good meal?"

"Um, what qualifies as a meal?"

"Ahsoka!"

"It's been a hard couple of months."

"Months! I didn't think it was that bad. How are you not ill?"

"I still ate, if you count portions of bread food."

"Ugh, as soon as we start finding out where these people live and are on course to take them you are going to eat."

"I knew you were on some sort of mission."

"Why else would I be buying slaves? Did you think I was really that bad of a guy to be buying slaves and using them as slaves?"

"Hey, to my defense. I don't really know what you're like. I haven't seen you in at least two years."

"Huh You never did trust anyone did you."

"I trusted Anakin and Rex and the order, but they're..."

"Gone?"

"Yes, they were my family. The only family I've ever known." She says staggering to a stop

"I know how you feel. I lost my parents. Then I found the rebels, and they were my family. I lost a lot of them too."

"I'm sorry."

I know why she's apologizing. She's apologizing because of Stella.

"It wasn't your fault."

"But I dropped her." Ahsoka's voice begins to break, "She died because I wasn't strong enough. I couldn't hold her."

I stop and grab her elbow. "You know as well as I do that it wasn't your fault. If anyone is to blame it's that blasted droid."

Tears begin to roll down Ahsoka's face and her body begins to tremble. "She's dead. Lux you loved her she could have been the love if your life. I am the reason she's dead. I ruined your life by not having the ability to save hers. I jeopardized your future. I ruined everything for you. I... I'm sorry."

"You didn't ruin my life. You've saved my life more times than I can count," I say, pulling her into a hug.

"I am so sorry Lux," She sobs into my shoulder.

"I forgive you. And I'm sorry." I say holding her close to me.

"What do you have to be sorry for?" She asks looking up at me with eyes filled with pain.

"I'm sorry you had to carry the blame for Steela's death."

"I forgive you, even though that's a stupid reason to be sorry. It wasn't your fault." Ahsoka starts wiping tears off her face. She backs away, adjusting her clothes.

"We're coming up on the prison. The guards should still be knocked out, but just in case."

Ahsoka grips her stun stick and turns up the volts. I put on my helmet and adjust my jacket.

"Um Ahsoka. You realize the rest of the crew is in on the plan."

"Oh right, sorry. I keep thinking we need to escape, like that time on Carlac." She says, lossening the grip on her weapon.

"Oh Carlac. That could've ended badly if you hadn't been there." I say with a chuckle.

"I don't think you would have looked good in Mandalorian armor anyway."

"No, probably not."