Battle of intentions

4. Absolutely stunning

It never truly occurred to me how important Lord Hugh was until we were receiving grand welcomes and watching him make a fuss about the little they had written about him in the paper, all awful of course. I couldn't have agreed more with them, I saw him as an awful person. He did not care for his son but he had all the time in the world to scramble in hidden corridors with Beatrice and multiple other women who visited. I by no means had a problem with their affair, it was not my first time witnessing an interracial affair. At the plantation we had many of those, the only difference was Beatrice was not being forced or taken advantage of, she did it willingly. There had been a time where I blindly envied that sort of romance until it occurred to me the pain and suffering those women went through to get to that happy place. I was certainly not one for pain, I prayed with gratefulness every night knowing that I grew up on the worst plantation ever known around these parts but here I was twenty-two and still pure and untouched by the hands of white superior men who took advantage of us. So much could have happened but I was thankful I had never personally experienced such a tragedy. Lord Hugh claimed to love Anna but was unbothered with jumping into bed with another woman a few weeks into her passing. As I got to know the type of person he is, the more respect I lost. He intimidated me the very first days but after spending 18hours in a carriage with one person. You learn a lot about them. I did not wish to speak to him or to cross any boundaries. I thought nothing of his smiles towards me or his kind gestures. I only wanted more than anything for him to try and care for Lewis. If that meant I had to be on speaking terms for Lewis sake then I would.

Upon arrival the groom, stood beside the carriage door, holding it open for Lord Hugh. He touched his hat as soon as Lord Hugh appeared before him. Lord Hugh gave orders which were then told to the coachman out front. We were greeted by a fairly elderly couple. Their home was not as big of extravagant as the one we had left behind. It was very much cozy and delightful. I was assigned to a decent room curtsy to being Lewis nanny. Lord Hugh's room just across mine. They gave us time to settle in and freshen up before supper. This job seemed to be granting me privileges, that I would never have received as a housekeeper or any other. As soon as Lewis took a nap, I decided to hurry up and have a change of clothes. In my linen petticoat scrambling to pull out a dress, the wind blowing into the room made my bare nipples harden as I tried to be as quick as possible.

"Matilda is a very nice lady isn't— goodness gracious—" He had not bothered to look else where as his Adam's apple went up and down. His eyes read every meander of my body for filth. Managing to finally get over the shock, I grabbed the closest item to me; Lewis romper and put it over my bare breasts.

"Lord Hugh—" was the only thing I managed to say. No man had ever seen me half bare. My heart skipped a beat as I watched his scrutinising eye.

Finally getting back to his senses he turned to look around. I was glad. "I must apologise, I should have—"

"No, it's alright." I muttered just as awkwardly.

"You're—" He paused. "Absolutely stunning." He said clearing his throat.

"Please—" I'd rather not speak about my body, after this ordeal that I knew would haunt me for a very long time.

"Truly!" Still facing the wall.

"Please allow me to be decent?"

"Of course, my apologies." He muttered as if he had forgotten. Did he expect me to feel comfortable putting on my dress with him facing the wall? None of it put me at ease.

"Thank you." I muttered.

"I will be downstairs." He said taking his leave.

Everything had turned awkward. I tried my best to forget about it but every time it crossed my mind. I felt awful, ashamed and it gave me an unsettling feeling.