Battle of intentions

14. Made out of hate

I wasn't quite sure if they always prepared feasts or it may have been my presence that had made them go all out. I took a seat and laid a napkin down. My eyes scanned the table hoping to find her but I was met with welcoming smiles of the people who resided in the beauteous residence. Having went through all the hidden halls, stumbled through stunning art and graciously strolled high balcony views and their good taste in literature. I was impressed but concerned because I had not seen Nora since she'd left to see her aunt. I'd seen Lou with one of the servants, he was a bit fussy because of the unfamiliar faces but soon enough he was asleep.

"Nora tells me a lot about you both." I said firmly. Over the course of fifteen minutes; I had been introduced to William and his wife. Both graceful, I felt some sort of envy to have a love like that. To love another in such a way it makes everyone in the room ill-fitting. I had also met their family friend Austin who I thought was a hilarious sadistic champ. Every word that escaped his lips turned out of be nothing that anyone around the table could take seriously.

"I believe there's a very very thin like between love and madness. I'd like to think I've crossed both and stumbled into lunacy." Clearing his throats, he whispered. "A couple of times." All the while playing around with his food.

Lady Martha's cheeks flushed red as if embarrassed by his behaviour. William and Panashe turned to look at each other before looking away. "My dear Austin let's not bore the duke with such nonsense." Lady Martha smiled tightly.

"Why do I have to be the bigger person? Do I get a trophy of some sort?" He grumbled.

William turned to him whispering a low threatening mumble. "I thought we already discussed this, Austin."

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry that I miss my wife and kids. I'm sorry, I'm disturbing your mighty royal visit from your fancy royal guest. I'm honestly so sorry that I'm a man with needs and my wife refuses to accommodate them since the birth of the twins. I'm genuinely sorry that she says she is tired of cleaning up after me. I'm so sorry that I really miss— Merri and I want to apologise." He broke down. I felt awkward in my sit, for some reason everytime someone entered the room my heart skipped a beat. Only to be disappointed, it wasn't Nora.

"Newlyweds?" I asked when there was silence.

"Yes."

I nodded.

"You should be alright. Always remember to be mindful of the things you say to a woman."

Austin's eyes immediately brightened up. "I do tend to be mean and reckless with my vocabulary when I'm upset. It's all work in progress." After a sigh, Austin smiled. "I like you."

"...uhm...thank you I guess."

The table seemed to be better after that resolution. We indulged in politics and other talks that eventually led to a question that I never thought I'd have to answer in front of a black woman herself. At the back of my mind; I was still searching for Nora. I did not want to be disrespectful but I also did not want to be dishonest.

"Would you publicly be with a woman of colour?" Austin asked. I was convinced, he had a bit much to drink.

"No offence to you Panashe or anyone else but family is very important where I come from. Most importantly family values. I do not think I'd be able to disarray from the rules and protocols of the life and family I was born into. Of course I question with human decency if it is right or wrong. My father was the kindest man I'd ever known, I'd like to be like him to respect everyone and be kind where possible as well as fair at all time but at the end of the day. It's not a life meant for someone like me."

"You have to keep up with a false narrative of who the son of a duke is meant to act like or be like or speak like..." William said with some sense of understanding. His wife merely seemed uncomfortable at the entire conversation.