More Than This | THE WATTPAD DRAFT

Chapter 30

*As always, this story is on-going and changes will be made along the way

Thank you to each and every one of you for reading my book. Your support is everything to me! :)

Feel free to comment & vote below!

** 

Isabella

The tears wouldn't stop. It felt like I had lost Giovanni all over again and my heart was completely shattered. I tried to think of what kind of future we could have together and I couldn't. Knowing that Casey was going to be a part of his life and they were going to share something as precious as a baby together was too much for my fragile heart to handle. It was just a constant reminder that no matter what, he would never truly be mine. It was selfish of me but I wanted to be the only one to have it all with him. I wanted a family one day and I wanted it to be with him.

But not like this.

This was something I just couldn't bring myself to be a part of and it killed me inside. It reminded me of his relationship with Casey and the blurred timelines of his relationship with both of us. I knew we weren't officially together but just the idea of him with someone else, while I was completely taken with him, made me feel like a complete idiot. I didn't want anyone else to have him.

I finally managed to drag myself upstairs to my apartment. I unlocked the door and pushed it open as I stepped inside. I closed the door behind me and my phone started to ring. I pulled it out of my pocket and my father's name flashed across the screen. My heart contracted at the sight of it as the memories of him in the hospital came flooding back.

"Hi daddy," I answered, wiping my tears away

"Bella, how are you?" His warm voice made me smile, "We haven't spoken in a while so I wanted to check in,"

"I'm sorry I haven't called," I said, the guilt washing over me, "Things have been crazy this side,"

I didn't want to explain it to him. I couldn't bring myself to do it. The last thing I wanted was for my mother to find out about Giovanni and me. Who knows what she would have to say then?

"But how are you doing?" I quickly changed the subject

"I'm getting there Izzy. Day by day. Yesterday I struggled a bit but I'm going to see my doctor at the end of the week for a check-up,"

"That's good. You need to take care of yourself, daddy,"

"I am. It's nice to have this time off to relax," I could hear him smile through the phone and it made me smile

"I'm sure. You and mom work way too hard,"

"She told me about your new boyfriend," he said casually

A lump formed in my throat and it took all my self-control to keep my tears at bay. How could I tell him what happened with Giovanni? He never even met him and I was not about to tell him that he's having a baby with someone else. I just couldn't bring myself to do that right now.

"I'm surprised she mentioned him. How is she doing though? And how's Camila?" I deflected

"Everyone is good. I wish you were coming home for Christmas,"

I leaned against the counter and took a deep breath in, "I know, daddy and I'm sorry I'm not going to be there. There is just a lot that's up in the air now with Mom and I just need some time,"

"I understand," I heard the sadness in his voice, "You know I just want you to be happy Izzy,"

"Thank you, daddy. Please just know that I love you very much and we'll see each other soon okay?"

"I love you too,"

We said our goodbyes and I disconnected the call. I placed my phone on the counter and leaned my head into my hands, allowing the tears to consume me. I was putting myself through a vicious cycle here. I thought I was making progress starting to get over Giovanni but that was a lie. I was nowhere close to getting over him and spending last night in his arms was the worst thing I could have done. It just reminded me of what it was like to be his.

The front door opened and I jerked my head up towards it as Reyna slipped inside. She turned and made eye contact with me

"Oh, Izzy," she walked over to me and wrapped her arms around me

I was so tired of crying but the tears wouldn't stop falling. I held onto her and cried into her shoulder.

She ran her fingers through my hair, "What happened?"

"Nothing new but you were right. I should never have gone there,"

"That's not something I wanted to be right about," she murmured and pulled away, taking a seat next to me

"I don't know why I keep doing this to myself," I muttered

"You love him,"

A new rush of tears overcame me at hearing that, "I do,"

She reached out and held my hand in hers, squeezing gently, "I've asked you this already but I'm going to ask you again because I can see how unhappy you are without him. Do you not want to try at all?"

I looked up and met her gaze, "I thought about it a lot since I left his apartment. I really tried to imagine myself with him now that he was having a baby with Casey and I just couldn't get past that. I know there are plenty of women out there who could probably be okay with being a step-mom but I'm not that person. And it's not because of the step-mom part of it, it's because I can't put myself through watching him and Casey share something as special as a baby. That's next-level connection stuff and I already hated the idea of him with someone else. I just can't do that to myself,"

"I understand Izzy," she comforted me, "I can't even imagine what that must be like. I just want you to be happy again - that's all I want,"

She pulled me in for another hug. The pain consumed me and I wondered if I was ever going to be able to make it stop.