The rain's comfort

I need you!

I sat in the corner for a while thinking of what just happened. I don't deserve love, I don't deserve Austin or Alan! I'm a slut and a whore. This is cheating, Austin's going to hate me! I rocked back and forth all night wondering what do I do first.

I pulled out our stash of vodka (3 bottles) and put them on the table, I pulled out my old prescription sleeping pills and found an old steak knife. I sat by the table just staring at what my life has come to in these situations. I opened the vodka and took a long chug feeling it burn down to my stomach when I got a call.

"H-hello?" I whispered into the phone.

"Jade where are you? We have school today!" Austin sounded annoyed.

"I'm not feeling good." my voice sounded swallowed and scratchy.

"Oh okay babe, you want me to come home?" Austin changed into his usual caring self.

"No I need you to stay so you can help me get caught up, I'll be okay." I lied

"Okay baby I love you . See you after school."

"Bye." I hung up "I love you too."

I took another swig and eventually I drank the whole bottle. It got to the point where I tried staggering up to the roof, when I got there I smoked a whole pack of cigarettes.

"Alan. I'm sorry. Austin, please don't hate me." I talked to my self then went back down practically crawling back. I kept drinking more and more vodka trying to drown my sorrows. I looked at the knife eyeing it hungrily, should I go back to this? I picked it up and felt the cold metal, I checked the time, shit 20 minuets and he'll be home. I can end this in 20.

I stumbled into the bathroom, tears blurred my path making it harder to function. I slipped into the tub fumbling to open the pill bottle, I screamed in frustration and threw the knife on the floor. I leaned back and sobbed horribly when I heard Austin.

"I'm home!" I stayed quite and opened the pills. "Jade where you at baby? Alan wouldn't stop rambling about you..." my heart stoped, don't call me baby. Don't mention Alan.

"I'm sorry." I whispered and popped a handful pills at once.

Austin's P.O.V

I saw two empty vodka bottles and started to search for Jade hastily, I found an empty pack of ciggerattes in front of the bathroom door. "I'm sorry." I heard, without hesitation I busted through the door. When I saw my Jade so broken in the tub I rushed straight to her side taking in this horrific scene.

"Jade... Why? Look at me please don't leave me! I can't do this alone!" I pulled her out and shoved my fingers down her throat trying to fish her pills out. "I need you! Alan needs you! Please I'll - I'll..." She looked straight at me or what seemed straight through me. "I'll always love you and... Protect you." The worst feeling ever was watching her body go limp in my arms. Her blue and dark eyes rolled back and her eyes shut. Forever.

I sobbed in her hair uncontrollably and screamed her name. I felt a pair of arms yank me away from her and Jade was lifted onto a ernie. I cried and cried, this physically pained my heart. why Jade?