Just A Nerd

Chapter Thirty-Four

JENNIE

I have been waiting for Lisa to come back home since she went out, meaning that I am dead worried about her absence, not knowing where she's been.

When I fell asleep last night, which I am sure it was almost in the morning already, Lisa still hasn't been back yet.

Now, that I am at work, blaming myself for what I did to her, she might not have come home yet, given the fact that I didn't see her this morning. I know I hurt her, maybe her ego or whatsoever. I am at fault more than her. That's why I am here, having no heart to do any work.

Not feeling well, I asked Mino if I could go home early, and of course, he agreed with worry and offered to take me home, which I politely declined.

Hopefully, Lisa is back home already.

I know I should have called Jisoo to ask her where her friend is. Maybe, she knows. But, what makes me think that Jisoo would tell me if Lisa went to her?

One more thing is that Lisa's unlikely to seek comfort from anyone now. She changes. She wouldn't go to her friend, which I am sure of. Even if she does, there will be an incident that Jisoo is the one who finds her friend, rather than the latter goes to her.

As I enter the condo, the light is off. It's so nostalgic when yesterday, I was back to where I was now, trying to sneak out to the kitchen.

Turning the light on, I walk into the silent place after throwing my purse on the couch in the living room. Lisa hasn't been home yet.

I walk to the bedroom, and the sight catches me off guard. Lisa with just her bras and shorts like last night is laying on the bed. She looks so calm and-

Only the smell of alcohol hits me that makes me rush toward her.

She drinks.

She has told me once that she hates drinking, and now look, I am the one who makes her do it. I hurt her so bad, and I know it.

I kneel down next to her face, trying my best not to hug her and tell her that I am sorry, but I am afraid that she would not want to talk to me right now. I am scared that she would push me away from her.

I figure it would be less painful if I decide to go out by myself, so I walk back to the door and is about to close when I hear her bitter voice.

"You want to hurt me that much, huh?"

Taking a deep breath, I turn back. "No, I didn't." Then, she sits bolt upright as if I have said something too much for her to handle. "You wanted to hurt me. Don't lie to me again." She accuses me. Her face shows that she knows everything about me now.

Anyway, it's just her alcohol kicking in. Therefore, I stay silent and ask her another question instead. "Where did you go last night? I was so worried about you."

She scoffs, "It's so funny hearing the word 'worried' from someone who wanted to hurt me this much."

"As I said, I didn't want to hurt you. I just-"

"Then, why did you lie to me? Why did you fucking lie to me just for the fucking sake of hurting me?" She yells, rising up from the bed before walking to me with bloodshot eyes. "You told me that you went out with Mino when you were not. Why was it so hard for you to just tell me that you went with our friends? Does Jisoo need to be the one to tell me every time we have a problem?"

I shake my head in response. "It's not my fault. You didn't listen to me in the first place when I tried to tell you who I went out-"

Before I could finish, she grabs my neck and slams her lips against mine. I was shocked for a moment before I could push her away and wipe my mouth. The odor of alcohol always is disgusting to me as it makes me want to pass out whenever I do smell it from other people's mouths.

Though, it's not that bad with her.

"It's because I love you. Damn it!" She grabs her hair in frustration as if I were difficult to understand what she meant.

"Love means trust, Lisa. Would you have believed me if I said I hadn't gone out with Mino?" I ask as she is about to open her mouth, but I cut her off again. "If Jisoo hadn't told you, would you have been able to trust me?"

"Okay, it's my fault again." She sits back on the bed, sighing heavily then something catches my attention. Her knuckles are black and blue, which I am sure are the fresh bruises. I go and grab her hands without thinking.

Her hands are slender and feel so rough against me.

How come?

They used to be soft and slender. Though I know it's because she is working out a lot, given the fact that she is so toned now.

"What?" She jerks her hands away, hiding them behind her back.

"They were bleeding, weren't they?" I ask, having known the truth already.

She sighs, standing up. "It doesn't matter."

"Does it hurt?"

Really, Jennie?

Stupid question.

"It's not as painful as my heart."

I ignore her word.

"What did you do?"

"I said I need something to hit."

"And you hit what?"

She turns to me, gritting her teeth as she tries to suppress her anger. "Don't worry, your little boy didn't get hurt. The wall was what I did to."

"I didn't talk about Mino, Lisa. I asked because I am worried. You don't have to always put Mino in this situation between us. You know, it never ends well."

"Okay." She sighs, "If I asked you to never talk about him again, would you agree? Don't try to push me by saying his name again, or don't-"

Then, without thinking, I take a few steps toward her before crushing my lips against hers.

Suddenly, I feel like the world stops when we both close our eyes and try to memorize this moment. She smiles against my lips. I feel it.

But, before I could pull away, she deepens the kiss and pushes me on the bed. Her hands are all over my body, and I am so intoxicated to the point where I don't know what to do, or how to act like I did anymore besides responding to her every move.

I know I might regret this.

But, I don't want to think about it. Now.