Just A Nerd

Chapter Forty-Eight

LISA

Today, walking to work seems like the easiest thing I could possibly do without any challenges at all. I smile, thinking about what happened last night. Till now, I am completely sure that I will always love Jennie no matter what. She is my world.

Without the world, we would die. It's like me and Jennie. That's what I want to say. I love her so much to even think of having anyone else. She should not doubt me about that, eh?

However, as soon as I step inside my room, my heart drops seeing my best friend with tears all over her cheeks. "What's wrong, Yeri?" She shakes her head, flinging herself into my embrace. "Lisa, I am afraid." She shakes in my arms as I embrace her more.

"Of what?"

"I dreamt about...mom last night. I saw her staring at me with eyes showing pain and suffering. I don't know why, but I am so scared that right now wherever she is, she is in pain because she worries about me." She sobs against my chest as I hug her head. "I am here. You know I won't leave you, right?"

Her hands tremble in mine as I stare at the wall in front of me. I owe her a lot, and now it is the time I should give it back to her. "You are getting divorced?" Her question stuns me, but I do my best not to show it.

I laugh slightly, "No, no, no...in fact, Jennie and I had a great time last-" I actually thought she was joking about me getting divorced. I know I told her about our relationship, but I never was sure that I would leave Jennie. That's why I believed she was throwing a joke at me when asking this question. However, when I look at her, she is so much more serious than a joke could be.

"I am sorry, Lisa. I should be happy for you. Come on, tell me about your great time with her..." She smiles genuinely, but the tears that fall from her cheeks shock me to the core.

Brushing the tears away from her face, I ask gently scared that I might make her cry even more. "Why did you cry? Is there something I have done wrong to you?"

"It's happy tears, Lisa. There is nothing you have done wrong to me. If there is someone that is wrong here, it's me. You don't understand why, huh? My best friend is content with her life, and I should too, should I not? And, here I am, crying like a child. It's stupid." She retorts. I smile, but it turns out to be something that I pretend to do. I don't know why, but something tells me that it's wrong to tell her my great times with Jennie to her. She's in pain, and I should bring joy to her instantly. It's inappropriate to do, right?

I insist. "Tell me, what's wrong?"

Then, she cries even more. She grabs my hand, squeezing it like none others. "I lied. I am sorry I never tell you the truth. Now, when I am ready and want to, I think it's too late already."

"Come on, Yeri. You know you can tell me anything...you are my best friend, after all."

"But, I never considered you as my best friend." Her words cut me deep through my veins. With all these times, I am just a friend. Anyway, maybe we are not that closed. "It's okay. We can grow closer and become-"

She shakes her head rapidly, "I never wanted to be your friend. I always yearn to be in here..." Then, I feel her finger pointing right at my heart. My body freezes as I can't help but think that it's just a dream of my best friend pulling a joke on me, and boy is it not really funny, but terrible and insane joke I have ever heard.

I wait for her to laugh and to tell me that she is good at that, but her tears only make me tremble and break my heart to the point where I don't know how to mend it back. Right, maybe it is always broken, and I just got healed, but the confession is surely not feeling so good with me.

She pulls away from me as she wipes her tears with the back of her hand. "I thought...we could be together one day even deep down I always know that you only have Jennie in your heart since the day I knew you. That's why when you disappeared, I never found you because I know it only makes me hurt. However, yesterday I had hope again. Blame me, Lisa. I am such a bad friend. Who the hell am I to break you and Jennie?"

Silence engulfs us, but it's not for so long before I talk again.

"You have done nothing wrong. No one can blame us for what we want. A heart wants what it wants." I try to cheer her up even though I know it's a bit awkward now for me to reassure her like this.

"Poor me. My heart wants someone that could never be mine." Eventually, she stands up straight and about to leave when I grab her hand and ask. "Where are you going?"

She brushes my hand off slowly before replying. "It's okay, Lisa. I can fend for myself. You don't have to worry about me." She smiles softly and leaves me stunned right at my office.

I pinch the bridge of my nose, trying to think about Yeri again. How did I not know about this before?

Then, my phone rings cutting my thought off.

I pick up, walking to the window to see Yeri walking into her car. "Hello..."

"Lisa, come back home early, please. I have a surprise for you." Jennie's sweet voice booms into the phone as I softly laugh at her cuteness. "Alright, I will."

"I love you,"

"Yes, me too."

Only then when I realized I forgot to say I love you too to my wife.

How am I getting out of this mess, again?