KNY ONESHOTS! (Fem Reader)

Ubuyashiki (Angst)

WARNING: SUICIDE, DEATH AND SELF HARM WERE MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER. PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Requested by: _chillandnetflix_

I know you know what I'm going through everyday, yet you just look at me from afar and stay silent. I understand it. You don't want me to feel pressured because once you asked me personally, I'll panicked and either just stay silent or excuse myself...

Nothing matters. 

For you, nothing really matters in this world. You may have the perfect and lovely family beside you, at the end of the day things that you often think will visit you, making you doubt your existence.

Even your worth.

It hurts. You have to admit that. It hurts you because when you finally did what you want to do all this time you may hurt the important and precious people that surrounds you.

Especially your Dad.

He sees you every night crying silently while holding your blanket tightly holding your soft whines by biting your lower lips hard enough to bleed.

Yet he didn't asked you. He wants you to tell him what's going on your mind, what's bothering you for you to cry that hard at night but seeing you always do that, not saying anything while seeing you crying makes it even harder for him.

So that's why he made sure that he make it up to you every single day because he knows how hard it is to deal with depression everyday so he did what he can to at least make you happy.

We all know it's hard so that's why you're trying your best to defeat this burden laying on your shoulder for your family who loves you dearly.

"... Are you sure you don't want to go sweetie?" Amane asked you, making sure if you don't really want to go with them to the little celebration for Senjuro's birthday whose now turning 18.

Senjuro's one of your precious friends but you thougt that you might just wreck the party and mess it all up so you just stay in your house, probably lay down in your own bed and overthink things over and over again.

"I don't want to mother, please just send my regards for his birthday."

She hold your little brother and sister on both sides after they wave their hand at you, ready to take their leave inthe mansion.

"Okay sweetie, you can go outside if you want but don't go too far okay?" You just nod and after they turn their back on you, sadness and unknown feelings crept up to your chest making you frown your face all of a sudden.

You really want to have fun with them but your mind being too optimistic and let you think the negative thoughts before considering your actions.

That is the only reason why you always prohibited yourself to be you when you're surrounded by your friends, strangers and even your loved ones and you deeply loathe yourself for that.

As your sight became blurry, the tears already falling down on your face while you clutched your chest as hard as you can.

You don't know why you're feeling this everyday. You can't even answer yourself why, why is this became a thing to you, and to everyone else who just want to have fun on their lives and to just leave peacefully.