Problems ❉ j.g

Selfish Reasons

Omg my crush smiled at me today wooow ❤ and he fistbumped me! He basically declared his undying love for me :D
I need a life lmao

-Jack-

I didn't know how to handle this situation. For one thing I was worried about Emily's health because it was slowly deteriorating and another was the reality that I could lose her.

"Thanks for letting me stay Mr and Mrs Evans." I said politely.

They smiled. "Its allowable, i guess, considering the situation." Mr Evans said. Emily grabbed my hand and pulled me upstairs to her room. We haven't talked about the Cancer thing and i don't want to.

"I'm glad I get to stay here with you." I rubbed her thin hand. It broke me to see her lose all that weight, she was thinner now but I think she's still the most beautiful girl.

"Well we don't have much time so we might as well spend all the time I have left, together." She laughed dryly.

I let go of her hand. "Why do you Keep saying that?"

"Saying what?"

"That you don't have much time left! I'm over here trying to be positive but you don't help!" I yelled at her. I didn't mean to but I was really annoyed.

"How do you think I feel Jack?-"

"No, like just stop! I'm done Emily! If you can't do this for me then I'm not gonna hurt myself by hanging on."

"Jack please -"

"All you do is bring me down with this time shit. Its too much for me." I said harshly. I don't know why I was saying all of these things...

"Jack don't - "

"I can't do this Em. I'm sorry." I said finally and stormed out of her bedroom without looking at her. Because I knew this time i had really broken her, beyond repair perhaps.

Why did I do it? Because I didn't want to be hurt when she...when something happens. I don't want to be left alone in this fucked up world. If I have to lose her while she's alive then its better than the other thought.

You could say I'm being selfish.

-Emily POV-

The minute Jack stormed out I knew I'd be alone in this. I had my parents of course but I couldn't tell them how I feel or cry on their shoulders. Thats why I had Jack but now I didn't have him.

I drove to school not really wanting to but I promised myself to carry on as normal as possible. Yesterday was the first Chemo session and i guess it was okay. I can't really say good since this situation isn't good at all.

I'd have one again and I was dreading them because I know my hair would fall off eventually. I wanted to cry every second of the day, you have no idea how it feels to live in fear of death.

The doctor was sweet. He promised to get my health back on track but it was just empty promises. Just like Jack Gilinsky. I parked and jumped out of the car making my way to my locker.

I saw Jack standing with a couple of girls but his eyes on me. I could barely walk because I was super think now but I wasn't ashamed. I looked away and continued.

After all he has other girls so why would he want 'cancer patient' here. He was the selfish one.