Two Broken Hearts

Chapter 22

"The saddest love is to love someone you know they still want you, but the circumstances don't let you have them."

Getting Amanda to answer some questions for an interview was harder than expected. Since she started managing the fashion program built I could not get a hold of her. But finally today was the day of her interview.

She agreed to give me a small tour around the whole fashion program, how it works and what her job is. While she shows me I am going to be asking her the questions I have written down.

It's weird because I have not talked to her fully more than one word since the whole party situation. I have seen her around the school plenty of times but never have we spoken since I broke up with Blake.

I hope it goes well because honestly I don't hate her. I just want a no drama life.

I arrived at the Hudson hall right on the time we agreed to meet up when I saw Amanda and Blake both entering at the same time.

Blake and I locked eyes and it made me realize how much I miss him. I miss being close to him and making him laugh while watching movies. He shifted his gaze elsewhere and entered his hospital that now was part of the academy.

"Hi," I tell Amanda as she gets closer to me.

"Hi, let's go inside," she says motioning the way.

"Do you want to know about the program or just personal things about me?" Amanda asks.

"If you don't mind, can we talk about both? I know fashion is a part of you so it all defines who you are," I say

"Okay that is fine. Well the program is 3 months long and students are chosen from the fashion designer majors in the academy. All must take a test in order to be accepted to the program and only 20 are admitted. The whole program allows a fashion mentor to help our young designers design any piece of clothing they like and at the end of the program the most voted will be given to a celebrity. The winner will be given a job in my own personal fashion company either as a model or designer etc," Amanda explains.

"That's amazing, how will you help in this process?" I ask

"I will overall observe the designers and contribute by giving them the materials needed and the space. Of course if they want advice from me I am more than happy to help. Overall we want our students to critically think and be open minded to design something unique and appealing to the eye. Overall also just managing the program and making sure the mentors are doing their job and getting paid," Amanda answers my question and shows me the rooms located in the building.

"Will each student have their own studio?"

'Yes there are a total of 20 rooms and each will be given to those who are accepted so they have a comfortable space," she says.

"How would you describe yourself?" I ask

"I am extremely hardworking. At a young age I knew what I wanted to become in life and I grew up with that mindset of never stopping until I am satisfied. I have also been told I am a bitch which I can agree with. Sometimes you have to be hard headed in order to be known and respected," she says.

"Would you rather be respected or feared," I say

"When people fear it is less likely for them to cross you so feared," she responds honestly.

"How are you different from the rest of the elite," I ask

"I don't let my guard down and I know what I want and how to get it."

"How have you impacted the academy," I say

"I invented fashion here at the academy. I helped display a clean image the academy has now," she says.

"Will that change now that you graduate," I ask.

"No," is all she says, not wanting to elaborate.

"Okay last question. How have you impacted the students in the academy?" I say.

"I haven't and I don't think I will impact them. Each person should find it in themselves to be able to pursue what they want. It is fine to have a role model but it should start with you first," Amanda says truthfully.

"Okay thank you. I will be going now, have a good day," I say.

"Wait can we talk for a moment," Amanda says while stopping me from leaving.

"Sure."

"I know this might sound weird and it is not something I am used to but I want to say I am sorry for what happened at the party. I had no place to kiss Blake even if we were both intoxicated. I don't want to say I didn't see you but I did. I just saw you and Blake in front of me so I kissed him. After you broke up with Blake he came upstairs to talk to me. He said all he saw me was as his best friend but you were the love of his life. When he said that it was as if my mind finally understood. I never envied you and Blake I was jealous because I never experienced a relationship so pure. I was never loved and cared for. Blake and I are only best friends and I understand that now. I am sorry I caused you both pain. I hope you can forgive me and Blake." Amanda says.

I couldn't hold the tears that were streaming down from my face. It wasn't because of Amanda and what she did, it was because I felt sorry for her.

I hugged Amanda not caring if she never shows affection. She needed to know what affection feels like and looks like.

"Of course I forgive you," I say.

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Dear Diary

Blake changed my life without even trying and I don't think I can express how much he means to me. I can't imagine how things would have been if I hadn't met him. I used to think being alone in this life was the worst thing in the world but it's not. The worst thing is to end up with people who make you feel alone and I thank the world no one has made me feel this way.

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