Two Broken Hearts

Chapter 25

"Let it hurt until it can't hurt anymore."

These past days have been extremely good to me that I am starting to get suspicious.

School is great. I have passed all my  classes with A's to make sure I do not get my scholarship taken away. Blake and I have been great too. He takes me out on dates often and spends all the time he can with me. I have slowly started to get out of my comfort zone. I am now more social than I was before which is one of the reasons why I decided to come to the Academy of the Arts.

I knew this academy was going to be a test for me. I used to not want to talk to anyone in fear of being judged and embarrassed. But I am happy to say I have passed that stage in my life.

Ever since I met the Elite I was the center of attention of everyone since I was dating Blake. Everything at some point felt overwhelming but I never told Blake. I would always get messages that talked shit about me and gave me a million reasons why I wasn't enough for Blake.

I tried not to let everything get to me although I was an overthinker. At the end of the day if someone talks bad on your name it's because you have something they envy and in this case it was Blake.

However all of that helped me believe in myself a little more. It helped me make sure I knew who I was and loved all my imperfections. I wasn't a pretty girl society tends to label us. I was not normal and I was not skinny or curvy. But I had to learn how to love myself and I am nowhere near close to the finish line but I am further from where I started.

Everything comes within.

The academy was slowly changing me and I had just noticed. I would be graduating as someone new and someone who will chase her dreams.

I am for once excited for the future. For once in my life I feel free and as if I truly mattered. I am surrounded by happiness and I don't want it to turn into darkness.

Two different feelings that can fuck up your life in numerous ways.

And everything happened when I met Blake. He brought happiness into my life like no one was capable of doing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Nothing exciting has happened at all at school. It's that time where all you have left to do is pass your classes and wait for your senior activities, getting closer to graduation. I was currently sitting in the cafeteria with Blake and the rest eating our food.

Food in the academy is actually free. It's funny because when you think about the most known academy then nothing is free. But thankfully food here is free since most of us eat in the cafeteria that is opened 24/7.

I'm happy at least I can save money in food.

"School has been so fucken boring," Brady says.

"For real is there going to be another senior party?" Cameron asks.

"Nahh not until the end of the year," Brady responds.

I was sitting next to Blake and Luna was sitting next to Brady since they have been hanging out all the time. What surprised me the most was that Amanda decided to sit next to me.

"Well I brought all of you chocolate covered strawberries to brighten up your day," Amanda says while opening her box.

"Fuck thanks," Brady says while immediatley getting a strawberry.

"Not for Rose," Amanda says.

"Amanda don't start I swear," Blake says, already getting angry.

"Calm down you didn't even let me finish. Not for Rose because I made her something else. I made a red velvet cake and I bought her a piece because I remember Blake told me it was her favorite flavor. But of course she can get strawberries if she wants," Amanda says with a smile.

"Wow thank you Amanda I appreciate it," I say when she takes out the piece of cake from her bag.

"Of course anytime I am just trying to be more friendly," Amanda says.

"I know the food here can be shitty sometimes and I just wanted to spoil my friends for once," Amanda speaks again.

"I have never seen this side of you and it scares me," Cameron says.

"It might last and it might not we never know," she says.

We all talked some more and shared our treats. I of course shared my cake and it was extremely good.

The rest of the school day went by so slow I was literally dreaming about being back in my dorm and just falling asleep the whole day.

I feel like people might expect a boarding school to be interesting and fun which it is but not always. Maybe to make extra money on the side I should post videos about my days at the academy and about my books.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Diary,

When I was younger I used to cry myself to sleep everyday. I don't know what is more painful. To experience your parents divorcing or even after the relationship has failed they decide to be together for their children. I believe either way the children are going to suffer. And when you see your parents run out of love toward each other you expect the same exact thing to happen to you. Being the older sister I didn't want my siblings to suffer as I did. As I was growing up everything was brought back to me and I was in the middle. Whose side will you choose? He did this? She does this? I hated being in the middle which is why I decided to leave. I asked my aunt if she could take my siblings since she never had the opportunity to be a mom. She agreed right away and I will forever thank her for stepping up when my parents couldn't. When I have kids I want to change the way I was raised. I want them to trust their mother because I have always wanted to have trust with my parents and I couldn't.They wanted to be together for their children but I swear we were better off as them being separated or atleast I was. Be the change you want to be.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~