I See Who I Wanna Be (in my daughter's eyes) 》SaTzu ✔

chapter 22.

Tzuyu was spending her own winter break back home in Gangnam. Some good quality family time with Taeyeon (her mom) and Jeongyeon were exactly what she needed after the emotional roller coaster of the past few weeks and she couldn't wait to see them. Sure, Jeongyeon had visited a few times when she could, but it just wasn't the same as being back in her hometown with both Jeongyeon and Taeyeon. She was worried that moving away from them might cause them to drift apart, but she knew that it was a silly thought. She knew the moment she was back it would feel like she never left, and she really couldn't wait. It was nice to have Oreo with her this time too, Tzuyu had been feeling a little nervous about the whole thing but she had slept contently on her lap for most of the journey.

Her head shook gently as it lay against the window of the train and she allowed her thoughts to swallow her up for a long moment as the consistent blur of the landscape all but put her into a trance. Tzuyu loved taking the train home, she could have easily driven if she had wanted to but there was just something so therapeutic about watching the world zoom by in a blur of color while she sat safely inside the carriage. Watching the slow change as the sun began to set was captivating and Tzuyu hadn't realized how badly she had needed to get away until now.

She had seen the look of regret on Sana's face the exact moment that she had told her to leave, and Tzuyu had stuck around a few seconds longer in the hope that she would change her mind, desperately praying that Sana would realize that she wasn't in this alone, that she didn't have to be. Her words played a loop in her head.

I can't do this right now, I think you should go.

She understood, she really did. Hell, the whole reason she had gone over in the first place was that she understood so well that she knew Sana would be freaking out. She had just hoped that she would let in her, that she would let Tzuyu be there for her, but she hadn't and Tzuyu would be lying if she said she wasn't more than a little hurt.

They hadn't spoken since then and it had been a few days. It felt odd and she found herself wondering if Sana was feeling it too. They had gradually begun to text more and more until they found themselves often filling the other in on their day, or sending photos of whichever meal they were currently eating. Sana's were typically always some form of salad and Tzuyu never hesitated to let her know how offended she felt. She would then send a photo of her own meal, always something with a ton of carbs, and they would banter back and forth about the others eating habits. It felt weird not to receive good morning and good night texts from Sana, and Tzuyu missed sending them in reply.

She knew it was silly, she had known the woman for less than a year, and yet she had become such a huge part of her daily life. The little smile that Sana would send her way each morning when she was dropping Sachi off at school was enough to brighten Tzuyu's entire day because she knew that particular smile was reserved only for her. The way she laughed so freely when they spoke over the phone late at night was a sound that Tzuyu treasured, it was as though the cover of the night gave Sana a sense of freedom that she didn't have during the day. Tzuyu knew those were the times that she saw the real Sana, the one that would beam up at her from the screen over FaceTime as they spoke about the most random things imaginable until one of them would be unable to stifle a yawn, usually, Sana has given her busy schedule, and then they'd talk for a little while longer despite Tzuyu's insistence that she go to sleep.

She felt a pang in her chest, the same one that had been there ever since she had shown up at Sana's house a few days before, so she desperately tried to think about something else. About anything else to make it ease off just a little.

* * *

"Tzuyu!" the familiar voice greeted her the moment she crossed the threshold of the large front door and Taeyeon came rushing out from the kitchen, oven mitts still on her hands as she pulled Tzuyu into a long hug, the excited puppy sandwiched between them.