I See Who I Wanna Be (in my daughter's eyes) 》SaTzu ✔

chapter 23.

The time away was everything that Sana had been needing. She hadn't left National City for a vacation since before she had given birth to Sachi and it was a huge relief to be able to just get away and breathe. She felt a lot lighter without all of her responsibilities weighing her down and being able to just focus on making good memories with Sachi meant the world to her.

They had a great time, she had never seen Sachi so excited before and the joy on her face was enough to make Sana's heart swell. She had taken photos of her with every single Disney character imaginable and Sachi wore the same matching awe-filled expression in every single one of them. They had attended parades and danced along with the characters. Sachi knew almost every word to most of the songs and Sana had taken a ton of videos of her, knowing that they would be something great to look back on when she was older. She had been a little worried that the firework show was going to spook Sachi, what with all of the loud bangs and such, but she had loved it even more than Sana had and both of them were bursting with happiness.

They arrived back from the airport in the early hours of the morning and Sana had abandoned their cases and bags at the door to deal with when they woke up later before carrying a sleeping Sachi up to her room and collapsing down on the bed with her. She removed both of their coats and shoes and Sachi didn't so much as stir when Sana pulled the covers back and tucked her in before rounding the bed and settling down on the other side.

While it had been a lot of fun getting away, Sana was extremely glad to be back home. She was exhausted from constantly trying to keep her eye on Sachi in the busy crowds, which wasn't always easy with an over-excited three-year-old desperate to run free and explore the world. They had also swum a lot, something that they rarely did at home although Sachi had enjoyed splashing around in the kiddie pool so much that Sana made a mental note to take her to the pool nearby more often, despite the amount of time she had spent worrying about her after the whole lake incident. Most of all though, she just missed the comfort of her own bed. The smell of her washing powder comforted her immensely as she sank into the pillows and sighed in relief.

She found that during the moments she had alone over the past few weeks, the hours after Sachi had gone to bed and Sana was left awake, her thoughts drifted back to a certain someone. Usually, those hours would be filled with finishing whichever work she still had to do and then talking on the phone with Tzuyu until she absolutely could not stay awake anymore. She usually welcomed the silence that came with the night, she loved to unwind and just enjoy the quiet for a while, but it had become a routine to talk to Tzuyu and she found it harder than she thought possible to adjust to the sudden silence again. She usually liked to be alone, but now she just felt lonely and it was entirely her own fault.

She hadn't heard back from Tzuyu after she had sent her a text message wishing her a Merry Christmas, not that she blamed her in the slightest. Sana wouldn't be surprised if Tzuyu opted never to speak to her again in a personal setting, but the time away and the empty hours at night had allowed her to clear her head a little.

She missed Tzuyu. She missed her a lot. She missed the way her eyes seemed to hold the entire universe in them, Sana never wanted to stop looking into them. She missed the way Tzuyu laughed, unrestrained and almost childlike in her joy. She missed the way she felt around her, like for once in her life she was worthy of being loved by someone like Tzuyu. Someone kind and beautifully selfless, with the biggest heart Sana had ever known. She missed the way that Tzuyu saw the good in everything, she was beautiful in love with the world despite the tragedies that she had suffered through and Sana admired that beyond belief. Tzuyu made her want to better herself and, for the first time since she had decided to take the plunge and have a child all on her own, Sana knew that she was absolutely certain about what she wanted.