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derek hale

pairing: derek hale x reader
summary: going through some things and being unable to open up
warning: mental health issues

Derek and the rest of the Pack had noticed that you had been off for the past couple of weeks but no one had said anything because you didn't want to talk about it. Every time someone brought it up, you just walked away or changed the conversation.

"What are you doing out here?"

You had woken up pretty early that morning and decided to sit on the balcony outside just to get some fresh air and clear your head. You wanted to talk about what was going on but you always felt like you were a burden on the people you loved so you didn't.

"Just wanted to clear my head." You exhaled.

Derek walked over to where you were standing, "You sure?"

You bit your lip to prevent yourself from getting too emotional, "I don't want to talk about it."

"You seem distracted nowadays. What's going on?" He asked softly. If there was one thing Derek hated it was when you shut him out. He might not have been the best with emotions but he always made sure you knew you could talk to him and lately, he felt you shutting him out and he didn't like it one bit.

You shook your head as you felt the tears began to flow. Derek was quick to wrap his arms around you and hold you until your cries had quieted. He hated seeing you upset and knowing you were carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders, hurt him because he knew there was nothing he could do until you were ready to talk about it.

When you had finally calmed down enough to be coherent, you let it all spill, "I just can't do this anymore. Everything I do doesn't feel like it's good enough. I feel like I'm drowning in my anxiety and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. I can't sleep because I'm constantly worrying about everything, even though I know I shouldn't. I can't eat because my mind is going a million times an hour. I hate feeling like there's a constant weight on my chest and every day it's getting heavier. I'm scared I'm losing myself. I'm scared my friends don't want me in their life anymore. I'm scared you will leave me. But most importantly, I'm scared I'll lose myself."

"You know that's not true."

You shook your head, "But that's what it feels like."

Derek pressed a kiss to your head, "You know that I love you, right?"

You nodded softly, allowing him to continue, "I want nothing more than to carry this burden that you have but all I know that I can do, is be here for you like you need me. You are the strongest person I have ever met and I know you will get through whatever comes your way, in the meantime, it's okay to be scared. I am here for you and I wholeheartedly believe you will get through this, in your own time. I cannot tell you what you need, you need to figure that out but until then, I will hold you and love you because I'm here."

You couldn't believe how lucky you were to have him in your life. Instead of telling you how to feel or cope with everything, he just offered his support and promised that he wasn't going anywhere. You just hoped that you didn't chase him away.

"I am so lucky to have you, you know that right?"

"No, if anyone is lucky, it's me."