Never Surrender [ Snape x Lupin ]

Chapter Twenty One

The full moon was getting closer, the first one since the night at the Shrieking Shack. Remus was dealing with some familiar symptoms of dysmorphia, feeling uncomfortable in his own skin. He didn't want to eat for a week now and the yellowish light from the summer days was giving him headaches. Didn't matter from which angle he looked or felt his body, his proportions just felt wrong, bringing an unsettling restlessness to him. He didn't even know what to do to feel right again.

Severus was giving him some private time this morning but also not letting Remus' mood swings get into his way of being present. The werewolf was far too skilled at isolating and hiding things, Severus just wouldn't let him have it.

Snape prepared some tea and toasts for him. He even cared to go out and buy the light versions of the things Remus ate normally. Severus knew his dysmorphia came from the transformation and exacerbated tactile sensation, but it was also weight-related. Remus had always been too awkward to truly mention it but Severus knew Lupin was sensible about it when he was struggling like this. And by all means, if it will make Remus eat again, he'll buy whatever version of bread he has to.

Snape wasn't sure if he was still asleep so he knocked, a small tray levitating close to him. He heard some approving words and entered, taking a moment to adapt his sight to the darkness.

Remus had mixed feelings when he heard the metallic sound of the tray landing on the nightstand. It irritated him because he said he didn't want to eat but at the same time, Remus knew that acid annoyance wasn't him. He knew there was something inside of his mind that wanted him to starve, that wanted him to feel light-headed from hunger.

The werewolf was laying down in bed, wearing loose comfortable clothes. Snape sat by side and when he caressed Remus gently on his shoulders, the tension in the room seemed to quickly unwind.

After a while Remus also sat down, he felt a weakness coming from his wrists, they seemed to weigh unusually more than before. Made his movements slower and heavier. Not eating properly was making his sleep so much worse and Severus was worried about it.

"Bought some things for you at the grocery shop. Try to eat something" Snape said caressing his hand in the darkroom

That's when Remus started feeling guilty for being annoyed before. He hadn't said anything, but he signed when he felt the scent of food.

"You didn't have to, you're too kind," Remus said apologetically, now recognizing the brands of the products in the tray. He couldn't remember when someone had been this understanding.

"Wasn't trouble at all, I bought a few things for the next few days too"

Remus frowned. Severus was a creature of habit and it was a strange day for him to shop for things in a bigger market.

Severus took notice and amused himself with how much Remus knew him already. Nobody had ever known him in such detail before and instead of being eerie, it was pleasant.

"I believe you already know I have something to say, then," Snape said levitating the plate with toasts and bringing it closer

"I don't know what it is, but... I guess so" Remus replied, suddenly feeling excited. Severus was undeniably happy about something

"I sent a letter to a potion master in London some time ago. And the reply arrived earlier this morning" Severus informed. He didn't want to interrupt Remus finally eating so he continued. "You see, not many wizards can produce Wolfsbane and not many have the resources needed. So I offered to teach him how to do it if he provides the tools and ingredients. As far as I know, his supplier for Wolfsbane is not from England, so he is very interested"