Never Surrender [ Snape x Lupin ]

Chapter Twenty Two

"This is why I hate traveling" Severus said to himself while trying to undo the tension on the side of his neck

"It was just a night in a train, a week ago, stop blaming it" Remus said taking Severus' hand away from his neck to replace it with his own. Sometimes Severus' temper was simply not what anyone would like to handle first thing in the morning, but since he had returned with enough Wolfsbane for a semester, Lupin had been far more tolerant with his grumpiness. And Severus took notice of that.

The Slytherin wanted him close, and by no means he wanted to establish some kind of power disbalance between them. Snape felt most comfortable when Lupin argued back, when he didn't hide when something was upsetting him or when he just wanted not to be affected by Severus cloud of gloom that seemed to irradiate from him from time to time. But, by the looks of the past week, seemed like Remus was just relieved and grateful. His kindness also seemed genuine. Maybe the werewolf didn't realize previously how much fear was creeping beneath the surface to transform completely in a location that he had no idea if it could handle his werewolf form.

Severus was pleased to see something he wanted taking shape and be able to see someone he held so dear being able to live normally close to the full moon. The dysmorphia was gone on the same day after the first wolfsbane. And it just made Severus think about a conversation he had with Henri about all the paperwork a wizard has to present to purchase Wolfsbane. Yes, they need to have the Ministry of Magic on their good side, but having fewer wild werewolves running around every month was of everyone's interest. Also, to someone like Lupin having easy access to it meant a closer to normal week before transforming and not spending time healing from wounds on the first week of the cycle. It will only stop being a condition attached to shame when the wizarding world stops treating it as if werewolves should be ashamed of trying to have a normal life.

They had been to the place Lupin spoke off previously, against Severus' will of course. They prepared the abandoned police station it with muffling spells and Snape made sure to cast lots of cleaning spells in the cells too. "We can leave this place as wrecked as you like, Remus. But not while you're sleeping here".

When the full moon came, Remus' health was considerably better than before. He seemed like he would face an old enemy while they reached their destination, almost like they didn't have a conversation after their last encounter. Remus tried not to be offended for the fact Severus was rather jumpy that night, he was too cautious about their surroundings and noises coming from the night. He knew Severus had good reasons to be scared, fear is an irrational response and he had run a serious risk of being bitten three times already. But yet again, having your partner be scared of you never gets easy.

They were inside the cell, sitting in a conjured mattress by the floor. To ease their own fears, Lupin asked Severus to go outside since he could feel it starting to pull its strings inside him. Severus leaned and kissed him on the forehead briefly. "You will be fine" he promised as he got up and locked the way outs.

While waiting outside, sitting on a bench, Severus was unquiet. This moon was no regular one, it was a super moon night, however, Lupin was the least of his concerns.

Ever since that night in London where he had been awakened by a shiver and what seemed to be a snake rattle on his mind, it was undeniable to him something dark was taking place. While on his way back home he was also tormented the whole way when he felt a solitary, yet chilling pulse from his forearm. Snape spent restless nights shielding his mind, making it a fortress again.

This particular moon was common ground between dark wizards to be used in rituals and summonings. So for that reason, Snape spent days casting an unimaginable amount of spells on himself. Remus grew concerned with his change in temper, not even Snape could hide his agitation in such circumstances. He'd never mention the reason, just claiming he was having some nightmares, which was true and using circumstantial things to justify his mood. Severus hated it, but tonight he could allow himself to externalize his fear and get away with it. And so he did, apologizing mentally for hurting Lupin's feelings but also relieved to be able to do the equivalent of screaming underwater.