Never Surrender [ Snape x Lupin ]

Chapter Twenty Six

Severus woke up startled, trying to quickly understand where he was, not being able to recognize the place instantly.

When he moved fast under the sheets and heavy blanket around him, this only added to his anguish, what was this room? What was going on?

But suddenly, a familiar voice reached his ears, bringing back all his memories from the previous night. It was both soothing and desolating and he couldn't help himself from crumbling back into the same position and sobbing silently, with no tears in his eyes.

"Severus, you're awake, oh" Magnus said, still waking up but in his aftercare mode all of a sudden. "Hush hush, now, I'm still here for you. You're safe, we'll talk about it. Did you sle-"

"Sorry, I'm, so sorry" Snape said rushed and yet quietly

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I brought you here because you needed it, don't feel bad. Couldn't possibly let you be on your own in the spare bedroom last night" Magnus reassured him

"B-but... I signed your contract, I shouldn't be here" Snape said sounding heartbroken

"And I make the rules in this place, remember? You needed me, here I am. Can I come closer?" Magnus asked, concern naked in his voice. He had never seen Severus like this

Magnus waited a fair moment before Snape nodded. In BDSM it doesn't matter how intimate you are and how much you already played scenes with someone, consent and touch are always to be asked first and granted later. Severus nodded, weakly, but nodded. And Magnus assisted him, embracing him from behind and mumbling approving words to his ears that soon made Severus breathe more steadily.

"You are the best bottom I've ever had" Magnus whispered. "You didn't do anything wrong during the scene, you played your part beautifully, as always, I'm to blame, I should have said no from the start. Forgive me"

"Don't blame yourself, it was in the negotiation, I asked for it. Magnus, I'm... I'm terribly sorry, how are you today? Do you need anything?" Snape asked, as guilty as when he sees his dark mark on his forearm

"Severus... thank you, I won't lie, I'll talk to Pixie to give me some professional aftercare today, but not to worry, it's nothing we can't talk about. I just know I'll have a drop and I don't want it to weigh on you, you are in no condition to give something so elaborate to me today. It's part of what I do. Please don't blame yourself, you're still my favorite, you're still very welcome here. And besides this being my work, I care about you. We can go through this together. When you calm down, I'll give you honest feedback on everything and you will give me yours too as well, as we always did. Just breathe with me, ok?" Magnus said in the most soothing way he could while brushing Severus' dark hair with his fingers

Severus was hard on himself, he knew not sharing a bed overnight was part of Magnus' contract. But he was still so desolate, he felt both thankful and horrible for it. He had it for himself he had to be perfect on their agreements. Snape shed some quiet tears while in Magnus' embrace, soon falling asleep again. This gave Magnus time to write a quick letter to Pixie, telling her to free her agenda for the next hours and show up with his aftercare must-haves.

Last night had been rough on them. Magnus was feeling horrible, almost disgusted with himself but he knew it wasn't Severus' fault. It was his fault for not setting his own boundaries. He couldn't let Severus know how in need of professional help he was, it would only make everything worse.

Severus had been quiet for a good couple of months before Magnus received his letter requesting a scene midway through the fourth month of the school year. Snape was honest, he said he was, and he used those words, a true wreck. He told him all about their breakup - all he could without compromising himself- and was transparent of how much he desired to have a session that would hurt.