Never Surrender [ Snape x Lupin ]

Chapter Fifteen

On the days that Snape was locked inside his room, Lupin reluctantly grew concerned with him. Severus had shown him emotions before with much resistance and the damage this could have caused on his lover would, maybe, be irreparable. Perhaps, in view of the circumstances, ex-lover would be a better word to describe it. Just the thought their relationship was potentially over was crushing to Remus.

The werewolf had also been crying, being way less skilled in concealing it from others than Snape. The silence coming from the potion's master was maddening, it could mean too many things. Sometimes Remus feared he was the author of a big emotional trauma to Severus and sometimes he would be unquiet and insanely worried this could get him arrested. And still, not a word from Snape.

When the Slytherin first showed up in the Great Hall a week after the incident, there was an unusual heaviness to his presence. Seemed like he was grieving, like a wave of strong emotions had bled him dry. It wasn't the type of sadness that makes people want to come closer to help, he was a cold spot in the room, a black hole where there was no light, as uninviting as he had ever been.

Even Lupin was afraid to talk to him. Feeling you are in trouble with Snape is something chilling. And this also made the werewolf think if that was the type of person he wanted to be with. It was not a matter of dealing with an intimidating person, there was also evil on him. Darkness in its pure form. Snape could be very disciplined on containing that part of his own essence, but it was something that would always be there. Nothing to be concerned about if you are on his good side, but what if suddenly, you are not? Would he be capable of doing something bad to you as revenge?

There was also this uncomfortable subject of whatever he was concealing on his forearm. They had been intimate so many times but it always had a heavy layer of glamour on it, a cloth, or his long sleeves. Remus knew for a fact it had to be related to the dark arts but what could it be? What kind of ritual, spell, potion did he attempt to perform? In exchange for what power? Was he part of... the Death Eaters? And if so, why would he push Lupin aside if accusing him of helping Black would mean they are both related to You Know Who? None of it made too much sense.

Maybe there are more groups for dark wizards than Remus cared to admit. Still, the eerie feeling Snape was capable of very dark magic was frightening, even when he was on his good side. Once, he was showing Lupin his personal stock of supplies. There were books there that would make most wizards uncomfortable just to look at. Some scraps of sigils hanging in the wall just behind an object and even though Lupin was terrible at potion-making, he recognized a very rare herb in a jar. It was known in pop culture to induce night terrors or to serve as a poison in higher dosages.

Needless to say, trusting Snape wouldn't do you harm was an all-or-nothing type of agreement. But it wasn't a fair one since he trusted no one in return.

Lupin believed himself to be in trouble when Professor McGonagall said Dumbledore was waiting for him in his office. So that was really it, Snape had jumped to conclusions without even hearing him and told Dumbledore. While walking to the statue, Remus felt betrayed and angry. Snape had many things to hide but he, who cared about Harry the most, was the one being accused of something he hadn't done. This was unfair. Severus would have to be very creative on his apologies if he even intended on being forgiven.

Once inside the office, Dumbledore greeted Remus and invited him to sit down. The headmaster was serious from the start, although he seemed to have a tendency to be on Lupin's side.

Dumbledore never disappointed in making someone's guard go down with his light presence and friendly voice. But Lupin knew he was called there for a reason.