The Truth About Life

-Audrey: Chapter Seventeen-

I'm lounging on an old jean quilt spread out over the grass, the summer sun warming my face. I love the feel of the sun, the smell of the sun. Hot and spicy. It's so comforting.

This summer is flying by way too quickly! I've honestly been in my own little world thanks to Benson's friendship. We've been going on all kinds of adventures. Exploring the forest behind our houses, taking his siblings camping, fishing, cookouts.

Benson's siblings discovered Chase and Brody's old tree fort and claimed it as their own. We've gone to Milton's junkyard with Chase and even sometimes when he's off somewhere else.

Benson and Chase hit it off right away. Benson didn't know too much about mechanics and Chase didn't mind teaching him. I was glad for that because it kept Chase busy and away from drugs.

But since Milton's downward spiral a couple of weeks ago I can see Chase starting to change, and not in a good way. He is so sweet and gentle with Milton, but he's starting to be short with mom and with me again. Picking fights, where really there's nothing to fight about, staying out late and sometimes not even coming home.

My mom is going through junk of her own. Sometimes I feel like it's way more than my dad leaving, but I'm not sure. She won't talk to us about her childhood. The happy memories with her elderly neighbor, Cecil, but really nothing about grandma and grandpa. We never visit them at their house, and they rarely, if ever, come here.

Most parents love talking about how they grew up, what shaped them into the person they are today, but not my mom. She's pretty tight lipped about it.

She has one uncle, my grandmother's brother, and his wife, but mom has never talked about him herself. It's only my grandma talking about my uncle and aunt that I ever hear about them.

When we were little, I remember Chase asking if we had aunts, uncles and cousins like other families. My mom firmly said, "No!" After that we never asked again. We just visited with grandma and grandpa whenever they came and that was that.

My dad's parents passed away before I was born. My grandma had a long battle with pancreatic cancer and after she passed, my grandfather wasn't far behind.

So really, when Brie and I met in kindergarten, I was already craving family and friendship in my life. (At that point Chase was just an annoying little brother.) Now, he's a sad, melancholy brother. Moody and withdrawn, especially lately. I'm so scared for Milton to pass away, I'm afraid of what Chase might do.

The shrieking of Benson's little sister pulls me back to the present. I see Taige running wildly around their yard, not a care in the world. Her dark hair catching the sunlight, streaming behind her as she runs. Oh, to be a little kid again, I think to myself.

I feel like it's less stress than being an teenage. No, almost an adult. In 4 weeks when school starts back up, I'll be a senior! Now that's stressful! Thinking about graduating, heading to college, having to provide for myself. I love drawing and painting so much. My lifelong dream is to become a children's book writer and illustrator.

I applied to a few colleges with fine arts programs. I’m literally crossing my fingers (and my toes) that I get accepted to California College of the Arts. I think it would be so amazing sitting in a sunlit studio, with miles of paper and canvases, cans and containers full of pens, markers, colored pencils, oil pastels, gouache, watercolors, palette knives and paint brushes piled high.

Before my dad left, and Chase started drugs, I would lie awake in bed at night, dreaming up stories to write. Whimsical fairy stories with brave and strong princesses, or a friendship as strong as mine and Brie's.

Brie, now that story would have an unhappy ending. The story might be called "How to lose a friend" or "The tale of a sad friendship." Now those books sound like bestsellers. (Not!)