The Truth About Life

-Brie: Chapter Twenty-Five-

It’s been about 6 weeks since Milton’s funeral, and since I finally sat down with my parents and talked to them, really talked to them, about my eating disorder, about what I’ve been feeling.

There were tears, a lot of them, on both sides.

My dad, it hurt so much to see how horrified he was at himself. That he wasn’t seeing me, being consumed by his own pain and grief.

My mom just hugged me, wouldn’t let me go, crying softly into my hair. She ran her hand down my newly cut hair, over my cheeks. It’s truly been a good few week, even going to a therapist and doctor that specializes in eating disorders was more uplifting than I thought it would be.

They gave me hope, that I could and would, overcome this.  It’s hard, sifting through all my emotions, but good.

Is it difficult training my body not to reject food? My gosh, yes! I have a serious problem with pinching my sides looking for fat. I have to take it slow, really slow. I have to retrain my brain and body about food. Baby steps. But I haven’t felt this good and at peace for a long time.

I’ve also written down and kind of mapped out what I want for the future. Which has been so exciting. For a while I was just consumed in grief. Grief for losing my grandparents, my best friend and disappointment in myself. 

Now, for the first time in a long time I feel like I can look ahead and make plans.

Over the past few months, I’ve been filling out college applications, compiling sketches of my fashion designs. That’s what I want to be, a fashion designer.

I know, it’s kind of a far out dream, but sitting through New York fashion week then Milan fashion week, there is nothing like it.

I just want to be a part of it all.  It’s beyond your imagination. The fabrics; from silken, glittery evening wear, to denim everyday wear and everything in between. The colors are some we see in everyday life, but others are like a tropical sunset, or the dark and shimmering ocean at midnight.

I’ve been getting everything ready to send in, I have applications for schools in California, Utah, and Washington state.

Honestly, I’m crossing my fingers I get accepted into the school in California. It would be a dream if Audrey and I could still see each other all the time!

I haven't sent a single application in yet, its fear holding me back, I know. I’ve got to just do it, just bite the bullet, because something amazing could come out of it.

I’m at school, tossing my empty yogurt container in the trash when I see Brody walking down the hall.

“Hey, wait up,” I call to him.

 When I catch up, I can’t lie, I gasp,
“Brody! Your face! What happened?”

The left side of his jaw is bruised and purple-ish looking,  his lip is swollen and scabbed over.

He gives me a half smile, “I ran into a door.”

I roll my eyes at that. He keeps walking and I grab his arm, stopping him.

“Seriously, what happened to you?  You’re not getting into what Chase did, are you?"

He looks annoyed, “What the hell? No! It’s just…….” He purses his lips in indecision.

 “It’s just what?” I press.

“We’ve all been poking around, trying to find out where the hell Chase went.” He blows a breath out, making his cheeks puff out.

Brody looks around nervously, pulls his red hoodie over his head. He pulls me to the end of the hallway where there’s less kids milling about.

“Listen, I had a run in with the Gonzalez's out on Old Mill road…….”

I grab his hand, interrupting him, “Old Mill, why would you even go out there? That place is insane dangerous.”

Brody smiles, jokingly runs his fingers through his hair, “You’re worried about me? I’ll be fine, girl.”

I start laughing, shaking my head at him. He always had such a crush on Audrey and I.

“You’re crazy!” I say, shoving him playfully.

He sobers and says, “Really though, Brie, we need to be careful. I’m not sure if the Gonzalez’s really know what happened to Chase or where he’s at, but we need to be careful….”

He pauses, “Like not going out asking around by ourselves, we need to go out together……. ya know, like to dinner or something.”

He starts laughing his head off, puts his arm around my shoulders and we start walking to our next classes.

“It’s good to have you back among the living, Brie, I missed you.”

I bump his hip with mine, “Yeah, me too.”