Kpop boyxboy Oneshots

Yuwin / NCT / Failed

TW: angst, slight mental abuse

Winwin struggles with his schedule and the dance instructor doesn't help but pressures him to the point where he neglects Yuta.

It's gotten harder in the last few months. Harder to manage his life as an idol with his life as ... a normal human being. Winwin has always been stressed, but those last few weeks ... Instead of letting him sit out the NCT 127 activities and dance practices, he is forced to participate in the 127 and the WayV comeback.

How is that even supposed to work?

The schedules interfere, he has to be at two places at the same time, all the practice makes him constantly dizzy. The worst about it is probably that he has to stay in the studio after the official dance practices end, because on one day he's with WayV and on the other he's with NCT 127.

And it doesn't work.

Sicheng doesn't know how Mark manages to do all of this with NCT Dream. Although he's just active in NCT 127 at the moment.

Today is another one of those days. Those days where nothing seems to work or look the way he wants it to.

It's already 10 pm, he's been awake since 6 am.

Sicheng craves sleep at this point. And to be honest, he would go home if he could. He would have gone home when practice officially ended - two and a half very long hours ago. The thing is, his dance instructor is here with him.

Winwin has an uncomfortable feeling that the new teacher doesn't like him. Or maybe he just doesn't like the way Sicheng dances, isn't satisfied with the moves he should have mastered two days ago.

But what can he do, really? One day practice with NCT 127, the next day practice with WayV, how is he supposed to get all the choreographies right from the get go? So he's still here, still getting yelled at.

Although he is kinda happy that he's not alone here - it's creepy being alone in a light room in a big dark building - he can't help but feel a bit down when the dance teacher criticizes him again.

"Sharper, Winwin, we talked about this."

"No, don't move your body that way, I know you want to show off, but that's not part of the choreography."

"Okay, listen, i don't want to repeat myself. So just listen this one time and maybe we won't have to be here all night just because you decided to ignore me."

"Sharper!"

"Pay attention!"

"This is dancing, it's a sport, so where are your muscles."

"You definitely need to work on your chore strength."

"No, I don't think you can do this move yet, it's too hard for you and you just don't have the body for it."

He tries, he really tries. Because it's sad but true, Winwin isn't blind: the dance instructor is right.

Somehow,Sicheng manages to escape from practice after another long 30 minutes. He would feel euphoric if it wasn't for the soreness in his muscles and the complete exhaustion making his brain a little foggy. He feels about ready to cry.

And it gets worse.

When he opens the door to the dorm, on his way to Yuta's and his room, he remembers. They were supposed to be on a date today. They were supposed to go there at eight thirty because that's when both of them were supposed to finish practice. Sicheng could have finished even earlier than that if he would have left with his other members.

And it wasn't even meant to be a formal date. Just the two of them, in front of the TV, spending quality time together as those occasions are a rarity those days.

Shit.

His footsteps get a little hesitant. He can't deal with a mad Yuta right now, he can't deal with it. The instructor has been enough. If Yuta is upset, too ... Sicheng doesn't think he can deal with it right now.

Why does he almost feel- almost feel scared to enter their room? His shaky hands turn the door knob.

Yuta is asleep. Winwin faces his back.

Thank goodness.

It's not that he doesn't want to talk to his boyfriend. Sicheng loves Yuta. He really does. He just couldn't handle it right now if Yuta also gets mad at him.

Quietly getting some fresh clothes, Sicheng makes his way to the bathroom to take a shower. He can't help but spare a disgusted glance at his reflection in the mirror.

No six pack. No muscles. It's not like you're fat, but you certainly don't have the body to be a professional dancer.

The dance teacher was right, and his chore strength lacks, too. How is he supposed to fix all of this? How can he change all of this? How can he make the dance instructor like him, gain more muscles, get a better chore strength, manage his schedule in a way that he doesn't hold the others back anymore with his inability to dance? His inability to get the choreographies right that everyone else memorized and perfected days ago. His inability to be lead dancer. How can he be a good boyfriend when he even fails to be an idol, fails to do his job?

Winwin knows he's losing himself in his thoughts. He needs help. He needs the help, the comfort of a particular person.

He clumsily slips into the fresh clothes, trying to get to Yuta as quick as possible. Holding back frustrated tears, when his shirt gets stuck on his head.

When he finally manages to put his clothes on, he dizzily waddles back to their room, resting his head on the wooden door until the world finally slows his spins down a little. Exhausted he slowly opens the door, falling into Yuta's and his bed.

It's so comfortable.

But Yuta's back is still facing him. Yuta never lies on that side, he always faces Sicheng.

Yuta is not asleep.

Suddenly everything is too much. It's overwhelming. It's all-consuming. It's terrifying. Today he failed his members, his dance teacher, he failed Yuta. He failed himself.

A sob escapes Sicheng's lips.

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1007 words

This is gonna have another part, it was supposed to be just one, but that would be too long.
Thank you for reading!